Staying with a cheating husband doesn’t score a woman any points in today’s day and age. No one sees a woman who stays with a cheating husband as loyal, brave, forgiving, strong or anything remotely positive. They see her as weak, stupid, pathetic and a disgrace to all women. There are some exceptions, cases where women have stayed who have so well established their individual identities that it’s assumed they have an acceptable and valid reason for staying. These women are strong, independent, highly educated women who have no need to stand by their cheating husbands, so when they do stay in a marriage though their husbands cheated on them they manage to avoid accusation that they have no self respect and are a disgrace to women.
The rest of us aren’t so lucky to be able to avoid ridicule when when we choose to stay married to to a man who cheats on us, especially when we choose to stay with a man who has cheated multiple times.
At one point it had looked as if Elin Woods might give her marriage to Tiger Woods a second chance, but the latest is that Elin is shortly to “officially” file for divorce. For a woman in Elin Woods’ position it must be almost impossible to make a decision about her marriage that isn’t influenced by the embarrassment she must feel and her need to escape from the embarrassment and try to salvage what remains of her self respect. Love wouldn’t seem to factor into this particular equation. It seems like one of those situations where a bully attacks you in a crowd. He punches you in the face and instead of punching back you ask him, “Why did you do that?” and say to him, “That wasn’t nice. I didn’t do anything to you. Why would you do that to me?” And the bully punches you again and you still don’t punch back. Instead you say to him, “All I want is just to be your friend.” You think you’re being the better person and the crowd will applaud your courage for not only refusing to strike back but trying to befriend your attacker; but the crowd starts jeering and throwing stones at you because they don’t see what you’re doing as evidence of courage. They see it as evidence of you being a coward. On your part you don’t want to fight the bully, but the crowd seems determined to stone you to death . At this point it isn’t about you and the bully but you and the crowd and the need to protect yourself from being stoned to death. Your only option is to do what the crowd is demanding and fight the bully. It’s that or die….
Not daring to speak for Elin Woods and what she may or may not want personally, but women who stay with cheating husbands don’t get respect from other women. Elin isn’t a Hilary Clinton. She hasn’t established herself as a force to be reckoned with. With Hilary it’s like she did Bill a favor by staying in the marriage. People will sooner say “Lucky dog”, than they will say “stupid b**ch”. But Elin doesn’t have the luxury of being a woman who is so well respected that people don’t question the decisions she makes. People know that, in Hilary’s case, whatever decision she made must have been the right decision because she’s a smart, successful woman. Hilary would never stay with a man who cheated on her for such a pitiful reason as “he’s my husband and I love him enough to forgive him for cheating.” Elin on the other hand, if she stayed it would be regarded as her having no self respect rather than her doing Tiger a favor. No one will think, “boy that Tiger is a lucky son of gun”. Instead they’ll think “I can’t believe she stayed married to him after he shamed and disgraced her like that. Man she’s a pathetic idiot.”
Elin Woods doesn’t appear to be the type to stand by her man even if it means the world will regard her pathetic and lacking in self respect. She seems like it will be more important to prove that she’s not one of those types who will stay with a cheating husband because she “loves” him. And knowing she’ll walk away with over 100 million, if the latest reports about the amount she’s getting are true, must surely make it that much easier to leave.
For many women who chose to stay and “forgive”, love is the excuse they often use but no doubt if they’d been in the same position as Elin to walk away with $100 million they might have felt no qualms about telling their cheating husbands to go to hell.