This is definitely on my personal to do list for today. Regardless what might happen in my marriage at the end of it all, there is so much my husband has done for which I have never felt the need to say thank you. We are never as quick to give praise and show gratitude when someone does something good as we are to criticize and show contempt when they do something bad.
My husband has done bad things. Some of the things he’s done may well prove impossible to surmount and we could end up divorced a year from now, two years, five years, maybe even ten years from now. But for now we are still together and when all is said and done, if you count up all the little good things my husband has done they outnumber bad things by many miles.
Of course we know sometimes the bad things are just too bad to overlook. Even if the good things outnumber them the combined weight of the good things falls below the weight of the bad. Consider Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods for example. Surely in the years they were married he did numerous good things for her. With his kind of money she no doubt enjoyed royal treatment. But Tiger cheated on her, not with one woman but multiple women. He shamed her. He publicly humiliated her. When she measured the weight of his bad deed of serial infidelity against the weight of the many good deeds he no doubt performed through the years they were married, the weight of the small things was nothing compared to the weight of his boulder-sized mistake.
If your spouse’s bad deeds don’t knock the scale abruptly and forcefully off balance when set down to be measured against his good, if the good when combined outweigh the bad, consider thanking your spouse today for all the good things he or she has done, or even for just one good thing.
Sometimes we need to know that we’re appreciated. It gives us the inspiration to continue doing what we’re doing and it will often even motivate us to do more. That’s the one thing about couples who really care about each other and are committed to their relationship. They always want to do things to please each other not to score points but just to keep each other happy.