Bottom line as far as I’m concerned, if your husband is a cheater there’s nothing you can do to stop him from doing what he’s driven to do; but all men who cheat are not cheaters. You can compare cheaters to liars to get a better idea of what I mean. Sometimes otherwise honest people get caught up in situations and have to tell lies to get out of them. These people aren’t habitual liars. They just found themselves in a situation which they told a lie to get themselves out of. Some people on the other hand lie habitually. Their lying isn’t situational. It’s part of who they are. It’s the same with cheaters. Some men who cheat just get caught up in a situation and others cheat because that’s how they’re wired.
If you’re married to a man who cheats because he’s compelled to cheat by some uncontrollable impulse inside himself good luck trying to find ways to stop him from cheating that don’t require his active participation. A man like that would have to first recognize his impulse to cheat to be a problem. He would then have to want to do something about it on his own for his own reasons. You can compare it to an addiction such as cigarette, alcohol or drugs. Nothing anyone might try will fix the problem for the addict. The addict first needs to recognize the addiction as a problem then do what is necessary to fix the problem if they want to fix it.
If you’re married to a chronic cheater but you don’t want to end the marriage, you either have to accept the cheating as part of the reality of your life with your spouse, or you have to take a tough love approach and ask your spouse to leave and come back, if he wishes to, once professional help has been sought and he has actively begun to work on fixing his sex addiction and can show that he fully intends to keep up with the program so that he doesn’t go back to his old ways after he gets back to feeling comfortable and secure in being back home. Other than accepting it or insisting on separation until he fixes it, your only option might very well be divorce. Perhaps you should consider getting help for yourself in overcoming the fears and other issues that compel you to stay married to someone who cheats on you.
If your husband isn’t an impulse cheater then you might have an easier time with finding ways to stop him from cheating that could actually work. Here are a couple of links to articles that offer reasonably good advice.
Gillian Reynolds – Ways to Keep a Husband From Cheating – Advice For Wives
DIVORCE360.COM STAFF – Three Ways to Keep your Spouse from Cheating on You