My husband walked out on me and on our kids and hasn’t contacted us since. I’ve been trying to reach him every which way but he doesn’t answer. I’m devastated and feeling like I could just die it’s so hard to deal with the pain. It only gets harder each day I don’t hear from him. I can’t even make myself pretend to be okay so the kids don’t have to see me falling apart. I don’t know what happened that made my husband leave and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me and the kids because I can’t afford to pay the bills by myself. I’m desperate and don’t know what to do.
It’s hard to cope when your husband leaves. Your devastation and feelings of desperation are normal, but even though right now it gets harder each day you don’t hear from him, you’re going to wake up one day and find you feel a little bit stronger than you did the day before and you’ll manage to get something done that you haven’t been able to do since he left. It won’t mean that everything is better. It will mean that it’s getting better. You’ll still have bad days mixed in but they will get fewer and fewer.
While you’re only human and sometimes we can’t make ourselves pretend not to be in pain even for our children, you do need to realize that your children are going through this with you. They are dealing not only with the fact that their father has walked out on the family but they are also dealing with their sadness to see what it’s doing to you. Don’t pressure yourself but do keep in mind that both you and their father are teaching them how to deal with difficulties in life. Whatever the reason their father left, he has shown them that it’s okay to just get up and walk out on the people who love and depend on you and not look back. On your part, it’s important for your children to know they still have a present and stable parent, and if you have daughters, it’s important for them to see you handling the situation with strength and poise.
It’s hard, but you’ll survive it. What your husband has done is cowardly and cruel; but it happens. Men walk out on their wives. Fathers walk out on their children. Right now don’t worry about figuring out the reason your husband has done what he’s done. You have to think about your health and about your children’s well-being and your livelihood. Get working on solving the problem with not being able to afford to pay the bills. It will actually help you to be focused on other things besides your hurt, pain and confusion over your husband leaving. At some point he will contact you and you’ll have the answers you need then. If he doesn’t contact you life will go on. It will be slow but before you know it this will be behind you.