Can you imagine your husband getting on a public message board and telling the world that you’ve become an embarrassment to him, that you’ve gained so much weight since having two babies that you weigh more than he does and he’s having to go sleep in the basement to get away from the snoring that’s resulted from your excessive weight gain? Furthermore, your favorite pastimes are watching TV and eating and he’s given up on having any sexual relationship with you because you’re so fat it’s just embarrassing? And he’s really just counting down to when the kids are 18 so he can divorce you because your refusal to lose your excess weight is selfish and threatens your happiness? And he finds it demoralizing being around you?
Personally whenever I gain more weight than I’m comfortable with I am the one who seeks to avoid my husband seeing my body because it’s embarrassing for me to have him see me with extra weight. I know he likes a woman with a nice figure; but if he gave any indication to me whatsoever that he was disgusted with my body, found it demoralizing to be around me and was embarrassed to make love to me because of my extra weight I would have to conclude that he measures my worth according to how I look on the outside and beyond that he really doesn’t give a flying bleep about me. Demoralizing? Wow….
From the forums at menshealth.com:
I’ve been married for about 4.5 years now. Two kids later, my wife weighs more than me (185) and is probably 60+ lbs heavier than when we got married. It has really started to affect everything!! She just started snoring like crazy at night. I end up going to the basement so I can sleep, but she just ends up getting mad at me.
Her favorite passtime is watching t.v. and eating. At this point, it seems like there is no hope in sight. I’ve given up on wanting any sexual realationship with her because A) it was never good to begin with (she has major insecurity issues thanks to her mom) and B) it’s just embarassing.
Don’t get me wrong. I agree that a woman should consider the impact her extra weight might be having on her marriage and should be as sensitive to her husband’s feelings as she expects him to be to hers; but how is any woman supposed to feel motivated to get her figure back while her husband feels demoralized to be seen with her in public because she’s fat? Either she’ll keep eating and getting fatter out of depression or she’ll refuse to get her figure back out of spite. Knowing her husband did not make her feel beautiful even while she was fat but instead made her feel like she was an embarrassment and too hideous for him to touch won’t inspire too many women to lose the weight to please him. More likely they will wait until he divorces them then they’ll get their body back and flaunt it for someone else to enjoy.