Dear husband, yesterday I was missing you and couldn’t wait for you to get home from work, and yes, when you got home I did get my sense of balance back.
You do have a way most of the time of making me feel like everything is going to be okay; but then come those times when you shatter everything. Things have been pretty quiet for a while and I’m grateful for it, but the problem with letting my guard down with you is that every time I’ve done it in the past it proved to be a very big mistake.
I don’t think you quite understand what it means that I can’t trust you because you don’t really get that trust is everything to me. Because you’ve betrayed me so many times and I’m still here I guess you figure trust can’t really matter as much as I say or else maybe you figure there’s really no consequence for betraying my trust anyway so why worry? But there is a consequence and we’re living with it every day. It’s like the dirt under the rug I talked about yesterday.
Trusting you again would be the biggest mistake I could ever make in my life and yet if I am never able to trust you again how can I ever be truly happy with you and at peace with my choice to stay married to you?