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My husband is not the father of my child but he doesn’t know

I cheated on my husband but he never found out and I never confessed it. I got pregnant by my lover and knew the baby wasn’t my husband’s because my husband and I hadn’t been together around when the baby was conceived. When I found out I was pregnant I told my husband I wanted to have a baby because I thought it might help to strengthen our marriage and I told him I was ovulating and that we needed to work on getting me pregnant right away before the window of opportunity closed or I changed my mind. My husband has always wanted us to have a child so it wasn’t hard to get him to agree. I gave my husband a fake due date and my pregnancy actually went over the real due date and close enough to the fake due date. My husband never suspected anything. Our son is 7 now and my husband still doesn’t know I’ve been with another man and he’s not my son’s father.

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My husband is not the father of my child but he doesn't know, 6.9 out of 10 based on 15 ratings

Have a confession to make?

0 49 15928 16 October, 2010 Wife Confessions October 16, 2010

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  1. lol

    I bet it sure makes you feel cool and confident at night that you pulled this one on over your husband. Lemme guess…your husband was the guy you settled for after the badboys had their fun but you decided to step out one night and get a badboy lover to get knocked up with. You are the reason why young men don’t get married my dear 😉

  2. anotherguy

    I won’t judge you – but your actions were obviously reprehensible – no good can possibly come of this – at best you will carry this awful secret with you to your grave – because you won’t only be hurting your husband if the truth ever comes out – but your son as well. At worst – well – that probably goes without saying…

  3. difichoice

    I am in a similar situation. Pregnant with ex’s child. I don’t want to tell my Husband but sometimes I feel like I need to let go of this guilt and tell him. My therapist said if I do that I might feel better but it will tear apart our family and hurt Husband terribly. So I hope my baby doesn’t look so different from us that it’s obviously not my husband’s. My husband was suspicious of my having an affair but I convinced him otherwise. I am scared to death now that he will suspect and want a paternity test. My OBGYN knows and says that some women do successfully pass off children from lovers as their husband’s.

    1. Jorge Tadeu

      WOW! We do live in an amazing age (for the wrong reasons, in this case)…

      A whorish woman breaks what should be an honour-bound commitment, and then complains of feeling guilty to a large unknown audience… Guess what… no pity for you. People nowadays feel that they can do sh*t and then get some empathy from those around them…

      WHY? YOU f**ked uo! You DECEIDED your compromise to your husband was worth less than your own pleasures, and then YOU decided to bring into this world and into your family an innocent child who’s future may one day be ruined by some sort of revelation.

      Great judgement cfall for you and every strumpet out there.

      I WOULD wish you good luck, but i really don’t…much the opposite… To you nor to any one, male or female that does that kind of sh*t!

  4. Amanda

    I am 42 years old and just found out that my dad isn’t my biological father , however there is a part of me that has always known. I’m not sure how but I felt like I didn’t completely belong. Even though I’m 42 I finally feel unlocked in some strange way. My grandmother knew this and never told me but I don’t hold it against her, because it wasn’t in her place to tell me. She however felt extremely guilty. So much so she spilled to my sister. My mother doesn’t feel guilty at all and that is very hard for me to understand. She also never told my father and to this day he doesn’t know. The bottom line is that the truth ALWAYS come out. The longer you let it go the more hurtful it becomes to the people affected.

  5. Angela

    I am also pregnant with another mans child, my husband and I separated due to other problems in the relationship, after a couple of weeks I met another man, we conceived a baby to which I had no idea at the time. Me and my lover split and I realised I wanted to try again with my husband, however I had suspicions after a while that I was pregnant. I took a test and was horrified that it was positive, I told my husband that night and prepared my self to live as a single parent. To my amazement my husband stayed but said it would b hard and he couldn’t be dad to the child. I felt relieved I had his support but sad to what I put him through and what I was about to put my whole family through. I booked an abortion as this was goin to solve everything I made a huge mistake and because everything wasn’t goin my way I could just delete it as if it never happened and no one would have to know! I could go on livening my life a lie, however I couldn’t go through with the abortion as I realised it wasn’t a mistake it was a blessing even more of a blessing was my husband would b around as hard as its going to and has been. I didn’t want to face up to what I did it was easier to block it out…. However keeping the baby was the best decision I ever made and telling my husband and family was so hard but at least I don’t have to watch my back and my conscience is clear. my family didn’t take it well neither did my mother in law but fact is my self and my husband decided to work through things and it has nothing to do with any one what I do with my life, I’ve made some wobbly decisions but I’ve stood by what Ive done and taken the negative its thrown at me. At times I wished I hadn’t said anything but in my heart of hearts I know I’ve done the right thing. As humans every one makes mistakes it’s how u learn and deal with them that counts no one can judge u or tell u what to do as its ur life not there’s, others have opinions some not nice but that’s ok there untitled to them. I totally understand where ur coming from and hope it all works out for u but I felt it was only fair that my husband knew the truth as well as the biological father. I knew there was a massive chance I would end up on my own but if that was ment to b then it was what I would do as hard as it would b. stay strong and have faith in ur self and what u feel if it feels right for u to keep the baby’s father a secret then go with it. My husband went baby clothes shopping with me recently! He even picked my baby an out fit now and sometimes he holds my tummy…. It’s taken a while for us to get here but its nice just to know we can try and work through things. I know every ones different and most men would run a mile but u can’t predict the future no one knows the consequences untill uve acted all u can do is b strong and prepare urself for what ever comes ur way. I wish u all the best and concentrate on the positive not the negative no one is perfect 🙂

  6. Joe

    WOW i am constantly reminded why I never want to get married. It is far better to screw them, knock them up, then send them home to their husband.

  7. carol

    What is the guarantee that the husband will never learn that the child isnt his?Every passing minute,i would be dying of fear of getting caught if i were in a situation like this.Although i do have differences with my hub and sometimes tempted to cheat,the fear of getting caught and the ugly situation that may follow always stops me.

    1. Jorge Tadeu

      The FEAR of getting caught?! OH dear, god forbid that respect for commitment and sheer honour would suffice, no!

      FEAR of getting caught?! You are no better thatn those who do it!

  8. carol

    And not jus that,Dna tests could be taken for other reasons too,not just for establishing paternity.what if the kid has a disease thats rare and the doc orders for genetic testing.?Inadvertently,the truth surrounding paternity would be is defenitely a risk.we can only hope that the truth doesnt come out.

  9. he4she

    Before DNA testing you could have possibly gotten away with it… but now… DNA doesn’t lie. Anytime you spread your legs to a new man you’re more likely to get pregnant than by your husband. A woman’s body builds some resistance to their husband over the years. But when new DNA enters all bets are off.

  10. Cait

    I’m not pregnant, but have been wanting to for a long time. My husband knows how much I want a baby, but he doesnt want any because he thinks kids are annoying and hates kids. I keep tellinng him, that he would change his mind once he sees his own child and will be so happy when he finds out that im pregnant. But any way, I’ve been tempted to cheat with my ex and get pregnant. I’ve talked to my ex and he is willing to do it. But I dont want my husband to find out and leave me and the baby. I want to have a baby so bad, I try to change my husbands mind everyday and remind him of his promise he made me, but he still wont budge.

      1. Jayo

        Justin I second you on that. Why the F#ck dosent she just leave him and do the honorable thing, instead of the typical woman, me first attitude.

  11. David

    In responce to carol.
    There was some research done in regards to the chances of getting pregnent by other DNA higher than that of your long term partner.
    The results was a little all offer the place to be able to say it was hard facts but there was a out line that somewhere between the 6th year and 12th year the body builds a defence system to its normal DNA input, Where the introduction of a 2nd sample showed that these barriers was broken down 72% of the time

  12. Miss Morris

    I’m in a very bad situation!!! My husband is in prison and wants children but under the conditions it is impossible. Five weeks ago though I was sexually assaulted and though I reported it to the authority’s I did not tell my husband, I am now pregnant and don’t know how to tell him what has happened. Chances are he will not believe me as in our first year of dating I had an affair. What do I do?? I love my husband but I don’t believe in abortion. I fear he will file for divorce when he finds out.

  13. ladybch

    i’m also in the same situation right now, my daughter is 1 month old now and my husband is not his real father, i’m really stupid and a whore when i did things that i know in the future would be devastating, now every minute i’m already dying to think that anytime he (my husband) would know the truth… i love my husband so much and he is really a good dad to my baby. i feel guilt everyday

  14. guilty

    I’m in the same situation. I have a 10 year old boy and don’t know how to tell him his dad is not his bio dad. When we were dating 12 years ago we were always on and off. On one of those off times i had a one night stand after a couple of weeks I got back with my bf. A month later we broke up two weeks later we were on again. I later found out I was pregnant and never thought anything of it. He asked me if I had been with anyone else and well I said no, I never thought that it couldn’t be his. Well guess what?? my son isn’t his. We split up again 3 years ago and I asked for child support 3 years of no help well he contested and asked for a DNA. Now I’ve got to tell my son. That’s the killer!!!

  15. Ivy

    I’m also in the same situation my son is two the only difference is that i don’t really know if he’s my son”s that because my son looks like me . This is really driving me crazy i don’t know what to do. Sometimes i feel telling my husband that hes not the dad but what about he is and a DNA test is too expensive. All i know is that i won’t keep it as a secret because that will be the worst nightmare ever, waking up and going to sleep knowing that you lying to your family :'(……

  16. KtGIRL

    Yes, it seems like a horrible thing. I already had one kid to think about when I made my mistake. I decided, it’s not going to end well either way for my kid so I might as well try to make this work somehow. I don’t even love my husband but I do it for the kids, even if it takes me to hell. As horrible as he is to me, he’s a good dad. The horrible thing is that it don’t really hurt anyone unless they find out and if you keep up with that guilt crap, it will eat you alive. There is a good possibility that my child is either of theirs. The child really just looks like me. I hope I got it right but if not I know my children have the best Dad they could ever have. I live with the guilt and that’s my fault. I don’t think about it on my good days and other days I’m suicidal.

  17. Max

    You people. I am a very passive individual but if any women did this to me and led me on year after year to bring up a child who was not mine I would cut her throat in her sleep. I wish you nothing but shear pain and disaster for your life, you are the scum of th female population.

    1. Kish

      No need to even think violence, karma comes to us all. If people do wrong there’s a price to be paid. We can’t run from our own selves.

  18. cee

    See! That is what gets me irritated. Why if a female makes a mistake on cheating on their husband and this kind of things happen to them (heaving a Child from lover) is a slut, whore….. And a man make the make mistake and is nothing to them!!!! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. IN MY OPINION I THINK THEY SHOULD TELL THEIR PARTNERS BECAUSR THE ONES THAT ARE GOING TO SUFFER ALL THOSE POOR CHILDS. AND LET HUSBAND DECIDE IF HE STAYS TO RAISE CHILD THAT IS NOT HIS OR LEAVE.

  19. Mary

    I don’t judge you and it’s too late now to say anything without tearing everything apart. I’m in this situation but I don’t know which is the father and I’ve been honest with my husband. My husband told me to keep it to myself if when the baby is born if I think it’s the other mans. He doesn’t ever want to know he wants our family to heal and move on. But too bad you couldn’t have told him sooner. I don’t agree that it alright to have kept him in the dark but I do understand the fear at the time and the reason you made the decision you did. So all I could say is if your son and husband are close. Leave it alone. You have to live with all that guilt and take it to your grave as my husband told me. You will damage your son and your husband more than you can imagine. Good luck.

  20. Deb

    I see no one realizes that in some of these scenarios, the ex, who has no clue there is a child out here with his own blood, may have started a new life, possibly married and now have other children. just to get the surprise of his life some years later about a child he never knew existed nor got the chance to bond with. Many families are ruined because of women who don’t know their kids father or, proceed to locate him and destroy his life. Those men have a difficult time embracing their children in these situations, there is never really a bond, just awkward adjusting.

  21. Ralph

    Can anyone imagine if men were able to dupe their wives into raising another woman’s child whom the wife believes to be biologically hers? What would the advice be to a man facing the same situation as this woman?

    The crime of false paternity is devastatingly unfair, and it can only happen to a man.

  22. jimmy

    You girls are a bunch of whores. I really hope the worst happens to you and I hope you die full of regret. That or your husband finds out divorces you and you become known as the town whore.

  23. Terri

    Most people I believe are judgemental by nature. Although we shouldn’t be. Now I am not saying it’s ok or the right thing to do to be pregnant with another mans child & have it remain a secret to both men involved. My belief is that if anyone has conceived a child on this earth they deserve to know about it. On the other side of things though I also believe it is every individuals decision on what they do in their own life. It’s EASY for people to judge but if it was you or myself or anyone else for that matter experiencing this maybe you would think differently. Recently I heard a story of a friend about how she married to her husband, he had an affair & got a woman pregnant & he refused to take responsibility & his wife my friend was the one that stepped up & pays child support to help the other woman in this scenario. So men or women it doesn’t matter, both sexes make mistakes it’s how you handle the situation that matters. It may be the hardest most difficult thing you may ever do but confessing will release you of all the guilt, shame, etc you have been feeling. Think about it but in the end it is as I like to say “to each their own”. It’s your life not mine so doesn’t affect me in anyway. Do what is best for you.

  24. Maurice

    Bravo, Amanda! Humans are not the cardboard cut-outs that manipulators think they are. They have intuitive depths and can often sense behind the lie as you found. You may find it encouraging to read the book Ellen Who? by Ellen O’Nelll (Kobo eBook). She had the same feelings of not belonging, and it took her 30 years to get proof. But although a mother who lies to her husband like this has a narcissistic weakness and may be a bit of a psychological predator, she is also prey in most cases to a sexual predator who is drawn to this weakness. There is a practice sometimes identified as kleptogamy, from the Greek ‘stealing of reproductions’. These men always target married women, often several women over the years, and may even have several children by one woman. But they take no responsibility for any of the children and will flatly deny even having had an affair with the mother later. The penalty such a wife pays is to lose the ability to love not only her husband but even her love child, as Ellen speaks of in her book. Such men are often wealthy, powerful, and influential. So the only way to stop this may be to allow a woman married to another man at time of conception to later sue her lover, even a married lover, for paternity testing and child support.(This is apparently happening in some cases.) Or of course require mandatory paternity testing at birth for all children as some fathers and children’s advocacy groups urge..
    OR maybe like Angela above, and the Mosuo women of China, trust a man with the truth and leave it up to him whether to bond to and support her and the child. Men may surprise you. As a boy my hero among my father’s friends was a tough hardrock miner. But I and my father admired him most for marrying a widow with three small children he helped her to raise as though they were his own.

  25. yinah

    Mine is also bit same case, i was 26 years old and was in treatment to get conceive(Ovulation Induction) after the treatment Doctor suggested me what to be done next. As i was working women for a Corporate company i had to organize an event for Doctors. But during organizing the event at evening i was raped by a trick- i.e (someone(Anonymous, i could not even remember his face) dragged me to washroom and abused,raped me badly) soon after i woke i was in washroom i ran and came and was in confused state whether to tell everyone and get caught for media and my life will be vanished if i report in to media. if not, i want to abort it, but still i completed the event and gone back to home at 10:00 pm, but my husband was sleeping. Thinking for a months and i got confirmation for pregnancy, was really in turmoil to take firm decision for life. After so much of attempt i was conceived and doctor told it cant be aborted as it is with hard again to get conceive. I could not even tell my raped story as it is treated as nuisance and not even accept the child which is emerging. i cant even live with my husband happily, as i am in fear of that horrible incident.i couldnot even tell my husband. After 9 months of continuous stressful time i gave birth to Girl baby, she completed 1 year. but i am in still confusion whether to tell my husband that he is not the biological father of my daughter. if i tell about rape also he may divorce me, it is also hard to keep the secret that he is not the father and truth will be revealed one fine day. i am in total confusion, i cant live with my husband – because this hidden secret is killing me day by day. please give me the solution. should i need to divorce my husband for the mistake which is not mine or should i hide this secret until it opens by itself.

  26. Mike

    This truth goes out to all you selfish bit@chz out there, who are just thinking about themselves (now after being knocked up) as they were when opening those legs and more importantly … they shall just be selfish whores their whole darn lives..

    One day, sooner or later, that kid shall find out and would be devastated…

    It shall ruin the kid (at any age), cause very serious n lasting trust issues (towards all humanity) plus kid won’t be able to forgive the whore, in some cases even hate themselves for being born to such a whore….

    O n shall love and respect the non-father even more, who brought up the kid.

  27. Sue

    My sister in law did something similar. My brother suspected but never did a DNA test. She cheated on him for years. My brother passed away, and she married the guy she had cheated with during the marriage to my brother….I see the neworld husband and it confirms it in my mind. He looks exactly like the cheat guy. I will never say anything, but the truth finds its way out. I also would never lie to him if he ever asks.. he’s now just 9.. very sad…
    I consider her evil, but keep a relationship with my adorable nephews

  28. kk

    For my side I feel like it’s too late.m scared can’t sleep but blame myself to mot put my shit together guys do not charge woman can raise another woman child

  29. kayla

    Who are we to Judge….. when we don’t know your situation, things happen.
    When the child is born get a home paternity test and view the results that should give you some lead way. Obviously you were having complications in your marriage so you decided to step out. Sometimes things happen for a reason,this may be an exit plan depending on your financial situation.

  30. Ohio

    Krose77 you have to tell that little guy the truth, and come clean.All the therapists will do is let you feel like you can continue to live your lie. I have high hopes for you !!! and your current pregnancy too. Good Luck and tell the truth !

  31. Stephanie

    To judge, is an easy thing. We all have judged, at some point in our life’s whether it is regarding race, culture , ethnicity, physical ailment, discrimination.. and so on. To conceive can be so easy for some whether we conceive when we make love to our husbands or receive love and attention from someone other than our husbands- neglectful husbands in these cases. When we are feeling emotional and having sex we don’t think of the consequences until the deed is done… trust me we think of the consequences afterwards !! We spend time praying that we see or feel the red coming on. But for some of us God wanted us to have a baby or else it would have only been steamy passionate sex and that’s it. Let the universe do its job… if it’s meant to come out, handle it then. Until then..don’t traumatize life’s of others unless the universe forces you to reveal the truth. You are a human and many woman are in your situation , not the best situation to be in.. but it happens. Life goes on..

  32. Kish

    I think it is wrong to be dishonest to your partner, if a child is not his then he ought to know. Why should he spend his time and money looking after someone else’s child, without willingly doing so.

    The mother will be wracked by guilt all her life and in middle age there’s potential to lose the mind, or get dementia sooner in life.

  33. Joe

    Women are the most horny and the most likely to stray when they are ovulating AND that is when they are the most likely to get pregnant.
    I have two children (who resemble me) from a past marriage.
    Since my divorce I have had sex with around 35 women (5 were married) and I made sure they were all on birth control or we used condoms . And no kids that I know of.

  34. Aquila

    Don’t tell him! It could break his heart….just stop the infidelity. Maybe husband told me that is the best thing to do and I agree!

  35. Mike Beno

    This slutty wife may think she got away with something by not telling her husband that he is not her son’s father. The problem is what happens if the son has some genetic disease from his biological father and blood or some other medical information is needed to cure the son? The wife is very selfish and she is playing with her family’s life.

    1. MOUSE

      I cheated and had a baby (baby number 6) behind my husband’s back. The truth came out once we looked at rhe baby. I gave the baby girl up for adoption. At first I thought that I should hide it. Now I realize it is best to tell the truth immediately. You must tell the truth and feel repentence to help your husband heal, even if you keep your child rather than give he/she up. I wish you the best.

  36. Tipsi

    Hi, i might fall in same situation, i dont love my husband, there has never been any love. Its just for our daughter v r together. Meanwhile i met a man, i fell in love with him. He is also married n no love from her wife. V both love each other alot. He has responsibility of wife n family n i cannot leave my son so v r continuing with our marital life. Its been two years v r together. The best days of my life. Now v both want to have our baby(my affair). I am thinking to have his baby. And not let know my husband. Not because i love my husband but because if he comes to know he will take away my daughter. Plz help me what do i do


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