I came across a post on loveshack.org where a woman was writing in to ask people’s opinion on whether or not she’s obligated to have sex with her overweight husband. She explained how her husband used to be in shape but has now become gross to her. Apparently he started getting fat around the time she got pregnant. She doesn’t indicate if this was intentional. Some men try to make their wives feel better about gaining pregnancy weight by intentionally gaining weight themselves during the wife’s pregnancy. Whether it was intentional or not this woman’s husband put on some 50 extra pounds according to her complaint and he never lost it even after she lost hers. She was disgusted and frustrated and wanted to know if she should feel bound by duty to have sex with a fat husband. She wrote:
Loveshack.org – “…He is a good 50 lbs overweight, and it is hideous to me…. I am just really frustrated because I feel like we no longer have any intimacy. I still want sex, just usually not from him. Call me shallow, whatever, but it is hard to get excited at the thought of an obese man all over your body….”
Wow right? Usually it’s the man you’ll hear complaining how his wife got fat and he’s no longer attracted to her and wants to divorce her because of her weight. The truth is, if a person can get over the mental hurdle they can have sex with anybody regardless of what the person looks like, and they can enjoy the sex as well. What’s the objective of sex? You’re either doing it purely for the orgasm or you’re doing it to share an intimate experience with the person you love. Either way sexual pleasure is not contingent upon how someone looks. Maybe looks matter as far as making you hot for the person but that’s entirely physical and doesn’t guarantee you a good time in bed any more than you’re assured of having a bad time in bed if your lover is overweight. When you love someone you can easily look past their physical imperfections, even if the imperfection comes in the form of blubber.
I like me a hunky looking man as much as the next woman but I want to think I would still be able to have sex with my husband if he gained a hundred pounds. I would prefer him to be in shape of course but I always try to treat people the way I would want them to treat me and I wouldn’t want my husband to reject me and find me ugly and disgusting if I gained more weight than he would like me to have on, so I would strive not to reject him or find him ugly and disgusting if he gained more weight than I would like him to have on. I think that’s the care and consideration part of marriage that’s missing for too many couples.