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I fantasize about sharing my husband with another woman

I have a secret fantasy about bringing another woman into the bedroom and watching my husband make love to her. I wouldn’t want to participate or anything, just to watch them do it. I mentioned it to my husband once but he didn’t seem too interested in the idea. It’s weird because he did cheat on me so I don’t get it. Why would he prefer to cheat when he knows I would be okay with him bringing the woman home and having sex with her in front of me?

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Have a confession to make?

0 14 11075 27 October, 2010 Wife Confessions October 27, 2010

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  1. aguy

    If you were hurt by his cheating then he might be worried about hurting you againg. He is probably worried that you are testing him and that your request is only a trap to see if he is faithful.

  2. anotherguy

    I seriously doubt he is plauged by guilt and “does not want to hurt you again” or “thinks its a trap” – more than likely you probably took all the “fun” out of it because you gave it your blessing – if the fruit isn’t forbidden it loses quite a bit of it’s luster.

  3. bmwpreacher

    why not, there are a lot of couples who want to share their mates, Go for it.. the worst that can happen is the best sex you and hubby will ever happen.. Do it it will eat you up………

    1. Just a Guy

      Not to sound “judgemental” here but “the best sex you and hubby will ever happen” is hardly the worst that can happen – there is a huge difference between fantasizing about something you find sexually stimulating and actually experiencing something you find sexually stimulating (in fantasy) – this act has the potential to open sexually satisfying new avenues of adventure for this couple (although with his history of cheating – I sort of doubt this scenario/outcome), or the consequences of the act once initiated could be devastating – as there are already trust issues. Sex with partners outside the marriage is sensitive enough (guilt or no guilt) it’s a potential mine field – we are discussing human beings here – not animals – humans have psyches which bruise and take time to heal – even when they convince themselves otherwise. To take a marriage already marred by a cheating spouse and expose it to “sanctioned” sex outside of the marriage seems a serious risk…with real consequences worth taking the time to consider and weigh carefully before deciding to proceed one way or another.

      1. Lisa

        I agree with “Just a Guy”. You should take time and seriously consider this. Been there and when my husband did eventually sleep with another woman it was devastating to me and our marriage I got over it and that was 16 years ago. But it does still haunt me sometimes still. Mainly because I wasn’t present at the time he slept with her I wanted the mental image to play with in my head. But at the same time I will say I’m glad I didn’t see them because I HONESTLY think I’d been so hurt with the image in my head that I’d packed my bags and left. But it made sex more frequent and mind blowing thrilling. For awhile.

  4. kenny

    I think communication here is the key and if we as married or even dating people had that maybe then we could solve some of these issues! But before we travel down that sexual fantasy road we need to make sure home is in order first!

  5. a Man.

    the human psyche is a funny thing. Have you put a finger on how much your husbands past cheating has to do with this fantasy? did you have this fantasy before the cheating? How did you react when you first found out he cheated and how did you guys work through it? are you trying to rehash or relive those emotions? are you still working out how you feel about his cheating and this is a way to facilitate that process? What is your role in this fantasy? are you going to be masturbating on the side, laying in the same bed, fully clothed on a couch, hiding in a closet? there’s a ton of reasons you would have this desire and I think it’s important to understand where it’s coming from before you plunge into something that is potentially harmful.

  6. Andrea

    My husband wants to share ME.I’ve said no, but everytime we
    are in the act he asks me and this turns me off. I want to stop
    then and there bc I feel as though he doesn’t love me/want me the
    way a husband should. U know, be protective, “im only his” type of deal.
    I’ve told him this but all he says is that he wants to see another man s
    atisfy me. Should I take advantage of this if he is willing? He swears

    to me that he doesn’t do it bc he wants the same right..what does this mean?

    1. Saqi

      It is absolutely normal some men gets turn on by this act it doesn’t mean he don’t love you this is what he thinks I don’t know if he shares it when you guys are in bed? And when he says he doesn’t want the same in return it could be true. Give it go but have discussions first and set rules.

  7. mahesh bhargav

    do you know have any idea what happened in your psychology? When you husband cheated on you, definitely you had a heart break. But along with that an intense fear came in your mind, that he would cheat on you again. This fear is too big in your mind. What brains does is that it sexualize such fears, this is the nature of the brain. If a person is abused in childhood, they have similar sexual fantasize in future where the entire situation is converted in a sexual pleasure. Its like sadomasochism, whenever we face any kind of pain, certain hormones are released in brain to make us feel good and what has happened in your case is that the particular fear of being cheated is converted in to this fantasy and this wo0uld even give a kick to you.. along wiht lots of rage.. if you ever do it..
    This can be healed with nothing except love, if you act on this fantasy// it would just deteriorate your mental health.. its like acting on symptoms rather than curing it.

  8. Cindy

    Fantasy- an idea with no basis in reality. We can’t control our imaginings and our wishes, but what we do with them is what matters. Some things are meant to be only fantasies not reality. Sex is meant as a sacred act between 2 people who love each other. That is the only path to true intimacy. Perhaps you have a fear of that intimacy and are attempting to triangulate subconsciously.


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