I have to admit that after I read the post “Fat Wives Suck” on the experienceproject.com website I felt really badly for the man who wrote it. It was clearly a heartfelt venting of very deeply felt frustration and not just a man trying to be mean for the sake of being mean. He was complaining about all the excuses his wife has made for not losing the extra weight she has put on and the lengths to which he has gone trying to encourage her to lose the weight, trying to remove the obstacles she’s claimed make it impossible for her to do what needs to be done to lose the weight and how it finally occurred to him that he was wasting his time because you just can’t make a problem like that go away for the person who has the problem. They have to want to fix it and they have to do the work to get it fixed. In his frustration he wrote:
All you men out there with fat wives, stop trying to change them. If they are fat it’s their problem not yours. Your only problem is you are stuck banging a fat woman for the rest of your life, if she lets you bang her at all. There is nothing [like] the social castration of marriage to suck the life out of a man. You[r] wife won’t have sex with you, but you can’t have sex with other women because you are married and it’s socially unacceptable. You can’t expect or demand you[r] wife to have sex with you because she is a woman, and a woman has a right to say no even to her husband. Expecting you[r] wife to have sex with you is socially unacceptable. (Thanks Oprah and Dr. Phil for that little slice of bullshit.) So you are stuck, socially castrated and your sex life is over before you turned 40. If you[r] wife decides to have sex (every 2-3 months) you have to grit you teeth and bang a fat woman. (Experience Project)
While I think it’s easy for people to talk when they are not the one with the weight problem I can certainly understand where the guy is coming from. It’s really not okay to just sit around and do nothing when you’ve gained too much weight to be healthy. It’s not even about looks or how it affects your husband, what your husband thinks and all that although that really does matter and is something you should consider. Being fat is not a crime; but it’s no more harmless to you than being depressed. Being fat and sitting around doing nothing about it is no different from being depressed and sitting around doing nothing about it, and it’s not fair to expect the people in your life to just sit around and accept you sitting around doing nothing to improve your condition. Overweight is as much a condition as depression is a condition. It’s not “the fact of who you are”. Overweight is not who you are. Overweight is something that happened to you that changed your normal appearance into something unhealthy and something that’s really not you at all and you really should care enough about yourself at the very least to do something about it. You can fix it if you set your mind to it, as difficult as it might be. There’s no reason to live with the condition.