Some husbands whose wives refuse to perform oral sex on them complain that other women do this for the men they love and if their wife really loved them they would do it; but some women are not comfortable with oral sex, whether to give it or receive it. If you’re absolutely not willing to perform oral sex on your spouse your spouse should be able to accept how you feel about it and not try to pressure you or guilt-trip you. Oral sex is like the countless sex positions that have been invented. It is not a necessary part of the sexual experience. It might enhance the sexual experience but lack of it won’t result in bad sex unless someone chooses to make it that much of an issue.
More on the Discussion
One of the most common remarks made in the comments below by husbands complaining that their wives refuse to perform the above mentioned sex act is that their wives loved doing it before they got married but as soon as they got the ring on their finger then all of a sudden they stopped doing it and changed their tune as far as how they felt about the act.
If a woman loves performing oral sex she loves performing oral sex. Getting married will not suddenly result in her no longer loving any particular sex act that she loved before she got married. If your wife seemed to love doing it while you were dating then started saying she hated doing it after you got married, it is more likely that your wife never loved doing it in the first place. Otherwise, if she really did enjoy it and now acts suddenly repulsed by it, something is going on that is making the act repulsive to her. Like some people commented below, if you care enough then try to work with your wife to identify and resolve the issue.
Has something about you changed and could that be why your wife’s reaction to you has changed?
More often than not when we’re dating we go above and beyond to make sure everything is just right as we prepare for intimate times; but when we get married we take a lot of things for granted. Both men and women do this. Many of us don’t continue to go the extra mile. We’re only too glad to be in a position where we don’t have to work nearly as hard; and again this is not only true for women in marriage. It is also true for men. We slack off because there’s nothing we’re trying to win anymore and eventually we get into a pattern of living where we take each other for granted. Where we once saw each other as someone to work extra hard to please in order to win, we reach a point of not seeing each other as someone to work extra hard to please in order to keep. So we stop doing the extra stuff particularly when it comes to keeping up with the things that create and maintain attraction. People like to say that as long as a woman feels loved and secure she will open up sexually. It’s important for a woman to feel loved and secure, but she also needs to still be attracted to you or at the very least (or is this the most important point?) she can’t find you physically repulsive and still happily welcome your penis anywhere near her much less in her mouth. And it doesn’t have to be that you got fat or ugly. It could be your smell even. Whatever the source of the repulsion, only women who get paid for sex in some way usually have the ability to still perform despite it.
So are you in some way repulsing your wife? Since we’re talking about wives with aversions to performing oral sex, maybe your penis smells bad? There’s a possibility your smell might have changed due to not going the extra mile with preparing for intimacy like you did during the dating stage. And sometimes when that means you put your penis in your wife’s face one too many times while it has a smell that’s repulsive to her, you can kill what’s left of her attraction to you. The same way a scent can be powerful in attracting people to you, it can be equally effective in its power to repulse people and make them recoil from you. It would certainly to be worth it to talk to your wife and rule this out as a possible reason or identify it as a contributing factor.
Whether your wife was pretending to love giving you oral, or she did love it but something changed and she stopped wanting to do it on you, it’s not impossible to change the situation to your liking if you and your wife truly care about each other. You can be sure if your wife truly cares about you she’s not happy about the situation either because she does want to please you. She does want to make you happy in any way she can; but for her this is not just a simple matter of deciding not to have a problem and proceeding to blow your mind after making that decision.
You can be sure that approaching your wife with some of the below attitudes won’t result in her overcoming whatever aversion she has to the act. And what is it that you most want? Is it comradery with other angry, disgusted fed up husbands whose wives aren’t giving them blow jobs or an improved relationship with your wife that sees you having better sex and getting what you want out of your intimate encounters with her? How can that happen if your feelings towards her are so ugly that you would rather simply trash her here or elsewhere online than go to her and talk with her honestly, openly, respectfully about your feelings and desires and your concerns that her neglect as you perceive it could cause major problems for the two of you and possibly end your marriage?