I read somewhere that women are their most sexually enthusiastic in their forties. Of course you can’t believe everything you read, especially when there are so many contradictions. I did also read that we’re more enthusiastic in our thirties. I just exited my 30s a couple of weeks ago. Most of my thirties were spent suffering a glaring lack of interest in sex; but throughout I noticed that I always became emotionally aware when too much time passed without any sexual activity.
The lack of sex actually seems to distance my husband and me from each other in a way. Although we still talk and go about our daily business there’s an obvious disconnection. I guess for me personally because my husband is usually a pest when it comes to trying to get sex, when I manage to sleep through the night for a full two weeks without him trying anything, while I’m kind of guiltily grateful, I also get a little bit worried. Why has he taken no for an answer so easily? I suspect when I begin to feel that worry and that distance it’s on account of my own need for intimacy which I’ve come to accept in the form of sex.
I’m reminded every time I get to a point of feeling like my husband and I are growing further and further apart that sex actually serves a deeper purpose at certain stages in a marriage. I think now is the time when lack of that intimacy has the potential to place a marriage at greater risk. When both of you are at a more mature age and beginning to feel less desirable, you become more vulnerable . You start to feel lonely and desperate, and if someone comes along who makes you feel interesting and sexy and wanted you’re more likely to grab onto that feeling and try to hold on for dear life.
So if it’s been a while since you had sex with your husband or wife, unless you don’t care if they are feeling lonely and desperate and distanced from you to the point where any attention they might get from someone else could lead to an emotional or actual affair, you might want to consider breaking the sexless cycle. I hate to hear it said but I’m inclined to agree with those who say that sex is important in a marriage.