If your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay?
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If your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay?

I’d love to hear what any husbands who stop by have to say in answer to this question. I personally believe that a marriage contract has been breached the moment either the wife gets pregnant by another man or the husband gets another woman pregnant. There is no longer a marriage at that point as far as I’m concerned. Sometimes I find myself holding very antiquated and sexist views. I’m not bragging about that as it’s nothing to brag about. I’m just being honest in admitting that I am not always consistent in my opinions and that my opinions about cheating sometimes change depending on the gender of the cheater. For example I can more easily find reasons for a wife to stay with her husband if he’s cheated and gotten another woman pregnant than I can find for a man to stay with his wife. It seems somehow worse to me when a wife steps out on her husband and gets pregnant by another man, and I see it as somehow indicative of a weakness in character when a man stays with his wife under those circumstances. To get pregnant by another man to me is just the ultimate insult to your husband. So I pose the question to any husband who is reading, if your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay and if you would stay what would be your reasoning in deciding to stay?

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If your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay?, 11.3 out of 10 based on 13 ratings
0 56 13774 15 February, 2011 Liars & Cheats February 15, 2011

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  1. Ferndogg

    I personally know of a situation of which you are speaking of. It does entail a wife being pregnant by another man and the husband is back and forth at the moment. One day it seems he might leave only to come back and say he doesn’t want to lose her. Although it is pretty evident that she is pregnant by another man it baffles me as to how he can look at his wife and go to family functions where people will assume he is the father of the child. I don’t know what kind of feeling he gets when people ask about the new pregnancy and congratulate them. I can only assume that he is desperate and feels he will not score anything better. I have to agree with you in that it is a weakness in character to stay even knowing that she was still talking to her baby’s father even after the affair was found out. Then he says he will give her another chance, huh? Obviously, she’s still talking to the other guy because she’s in love with him and not her husband. I can only assume she’s with her husband because she wants to save face in light of her family and friends and maybe he makes more money, who knows? But, I have never heard of someone being so desperate for a woman to put up with something like this.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 5

    1. yeah right

      I personally went through this. 14 years later we are divorced both re-married. I can tell you it’s the most DEVASTATING thing that I ever went through. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel pain in my bones. I actually watched her give birth to the baby. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE can describe how this event affected my life, and continues to this day, 14 years later. You have your good days, and your bad days, but you NEVER get over it. The absolute hardest part is the last thing my ex-wife said to me was “she had NO REGRETS, she loved the guy, the kid and said best of luck to you”. I think not having closure is what eats at the core of my soul. You ask yourself millions of times how can someone do this to another person and be proud of it? To make matters worse, she was supposedly ” VERY Religious”. I still am always looking for ways to MOVE ON. I wish there were more counseling groups of people who “went through this as well” as that might be the only group that can help each other.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 26 Thumb down 4

      1. TB

        I am going through this now. Me and my wife seperated 3 years ago. I moved across country and she had a baby by another man who she doesn’t even care about. The pain is so hurtful. I Love her but I am confused as to what I should do. i don’t know if I want to wake with a constant reminder evrytime I see the child. The father is now in jail. Would I be a fool to involve myself in this by taking her back. This is her 6th child, I have 2 with her. Im afraid that it will destroy me and my kids relationship by me not being there. Could someone help me?

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 10

      2. trish

        Being religious is talked about in the bible. Do not mix with the non religious or religious. I know some very religious people, it is the bible according to them. Being spiritual is different, It says it all when they make vows but do not keep them. Their actions say it all, i have been there and never again. They say one thing and do another, but they seem to believe that they are right even when they are flying in the face of their own words. The other man must be nuts, she is not showing loyalty to her own man and she is having babies with someone else. Those ones are fickle and they follow anything but a straight path.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

      3. wtf!

        why would you even be there to see her give birth to another man’s baby? Shoulda kicked her to the curb

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 22 Thumb down 3

      4. Douglas47

        Hi Yeah Right,
        I’ve read your post a couple of times. It has really gotten to me.What your ex-wife did to you ,in my opinion, is the worst thing a wife can do to her husband. Being that there is no remorse on her part, realize that she is unworthy to have your children. I hope you can find closure in the fact that she was not a good woman and take comfort in the love of your current wife.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 2

      5. Gregg Alkerton

        I have been put through this myself, My wife and I have 5 children and I found out my youngest child was not mine when he was 7 years old, I struggled for the last two years to live with this and hold my family together, but in the end t was not possible. My family was torn to shreds my ex-wife lives in Tennessee with the youngest child and our son (16), I remained in Canada with our other three children (17, 16, 15). my children lost their mother and I lost apart of my soul.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  2. Petra Spahr

    My husband and I have already discussed this. He said that if I cannot become pregnant because he is not producing enough or viable sperm (something that is a genuine health issue with him) I can get pregnant by another man. It would be like sperm donation, but much simpler. He says that when I have a child he will love it as his own and he will not even inquire of its paternal origins. At his insistance we are looking into making this binding beforehand.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 23

  3. JS

    Going through this right now. I have been with my wife for 11 years, we have a 6 year old and I found out only last week is not mine.
    I won’t post my long and painful story her but suffice to say my wife suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, read up on that & you may get some idea of what I have endured. I’m a mess and can’t begin to describe how it feels to lose everything, to discover the love of your life  can be so treacherous & your child is in fact anothers’.
    I think that personal circumstance should dictate any decision someone makes & if you are with a sane, normal woman who made a mistake it may be very reasonable for all concerned that you stay, or not, but continue to be the child’s father. Same applies if you do not decide to stay or continue raising the child, after all why should the guilt of abandonment lay with the father who was deceived?? For me there is no real choice but for others out there perhaps there is. I would urge any man who decides to continue raising the child as their own to seek proffessional counseling before making any decision, you must be sure you are prepared to commit 100% for life and not dump the kid a few months or years down the track if things get too difficult, consider the biological father will at some point enter the scene and you will also have to tell your child one day. There’s a lot more to consider than the love you feel for your child, above all else you must consider what is best for your son/daughter in the long run & that means sticking it out to the end no matter what or you may as well end it now no matter how much pain it will cause you both.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 6

    1. trish

      It always shocks me that women have unprotected sex outside the marriage. They risk catching something and passing it on, they risk pregnancy. I also wonder why they would want the husband to take on the child of another man!

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 9

      1. Paul K

        Well the bible says I should forgive my wife SEVENTY times, in 18 years of marriage i have forgiven 4 times- the last resulting in our 5 y o daughter to thelast OM.

        Still loving, stil ldoting, still together, and sometimes still STRUGGLING with it – there is nothing wrong in admitting this, i still have insecurities but there is a way forward

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 20

  4. Guest001

    I would not stay, love has left her heart if she has to have affairs. That’s not a marriage it’s a shame.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 27 Thumb down 2

  5. Surfin' on in

    I would if the father were a black man (I’m a white guy) and it was something my wife or live-in girlfriend really wanted. I would only do that once, though, and she’d have to agree to have one with me as well. But it might help to explain that I’m naturally a submissive male who wouldn’t mind a cuckold relationship as long as it wasn’t extreme. I’ve always liked strong women who expect a high degree of devotion from their men.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 29

  6. Rob Kofoed

    I actually got a married woman pregnant when I was 22, and she was 38. This was 25 years ago, and she told me at the time she was seperated, and on the pill.
    Come to find out over a year after the baby was born that she intentionally got pregnant, as her and her husband had been trying for 2 years with no success.
    We had unprotected sex 2 times, almost exactly 1 month apart. I have never got involved, although I wonder how and what my son is doing today.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 6

  7. Greggyboy

    I have recently found out that after 16 years of marrage that 2 of my 5 children are not mine and that it she is not sure if 2 others are mine or not. My children are 15,14,13,12 & 7 and are mine no matter what. I am torn and devistated by what my wife has done not just to me but to my kids as well.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 11

  8. Innocentwoman

    I am sorry for anyone who has to go through this. It is so unbelievably hard, but I do agree with the writer of the article that there is a double standard, and I am guilty of it – I would think a man is a weenie if he stays and raises a baby that isn’t his with a woman who disrespected him. I am on the other side though, as a woman whose husband cheated and he had a baby with a woman. At least in a man’s case, he isn’t financially responsible for the child, and the wife can obtain child support from the real dad. In my case, my family’s income is taken from my kids to support this harlet and her spawn.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 8

    1. Greggyboy

      Innocentwoman : So what your saying is your husband should not have to pay for his mistake because it affects you & your children And yet the other woman is doing just as you stated she should and going after support from the real dad.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

  9. Delta

    For those who are thinking of staying with the bitches that cheated on them I say grow some balls. Once a cheater always a cheater. In regards to the welfare of those children who gives a f**k get the idiot who f**ked your wife take care of them

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 37 Thumb down 6

  10. Daner

    Hey guys, I am a 25 yr old man who wakes up everyday only to be reminded of the heartache and devistation I face every day. When I was 15 years old and was new in town, I became attracted to this girl and even at age 15, being young and all, I was in Love. Not alot of 15 year olds can say they fell in love at a young age but I can say 100 percent, to this day that i still Love her. Now, this is where the story begins, I was introduced to her through my first friend in this town it ended up by conincidence that her and my friend had grown up together and their parents regularly visited eachother since they lived just down the street from eachother, so this was a bonus for me. So the first summer that i had been in this new town, me and her ended up going out, however it only lasted 1 week and she dumped me because I was too shy, understandable since she was my first girl and one that I loved. So anyways, the summer goes by and we end up getting back together, spent the weekand at her cottage and that’s where the magic happened, we bonded so extremely perfect. It’s as if we became soul mates just that weekand, realizing how much we clicked together, and I still hear her wonderful laughter in my head. So over the next 6 years we broke up a few times and went back out…I never did the breaking up. So each time she would dump me I would be devistated and the 2nd last time she dumped me I was so broken that during my time being single I made myself a promise, that if I ever got another chance with her, that i would get her pregnent so that we could be together forever. So amazingly we ended up getting back together, she dumped her bf and told him she coudlnt be with him anymore because she still loved me! The best day of my life! So we were together for the next 10 months and to make a long story short…I had been working towards completing the goals that we needed for our future, like I got an apartment for us and I bought a van for us and our future. Shortly after that, we got in a little argument and unfortuanltly it ended up blowing way out of porportion and she dumped me! So…I was so sad…and I asked her to come back but she refused. SO one day I’m chilling at home and My worst fears came true because my friend came home after chilling with my friends and my ex, he tells me wow, you were right….im sorry to be the one to tell you but Jen is pregnent

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 16

    1. Murdock

      Dude. You are just one big pu*sy whip. The slut didn’t really give a f**k about you and now she’s knocked up. Move the f**k on and find a better girl that actually gives a f**k(love) about you. Also, stop being such a f**king pu*sy whip.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 3

      1. joe

        To swear and insult people who have gone through such horrific events shows how ignorant you are. These are peoples lives, and real pain. Just “get over it” sounds about as logical as buying a lottery ticket and EXPECTING to win the mega millions. How about you grow some compassion, and come up with REAL ideas to help people clearly struggling?

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 12

        1. Grandus

          I am sorry but unless he said something that violates the terms of the site. I do believe the person has a right to express himself or herself in the manner that is most comfortable to them. The person that is going through this situation posted this knowing that they may be flamed and perhaps it may even force them to make a hard decision.

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  11. daniel thomas

    I spent the last ten years with a deaf girl half my age..trying to help her grow in life. We did everything together and I felt like finally I had someone who I would be be with for perhaps ever. She, I believe, was perhaps socially regressed except when around her deaf friends.
    Once, while she lived with another deaf girl I had met before..(before she and i lived together)..I told her it was not a good idea. I was right. That girl took her checks and forged $19,000 on an account with only eleven hundred in it which her dad set up for medical emergencies.
    I could go on and on..she was with me during my best friend’s death–I found him–and my mom’s breaking her hip..and later, mom’s death.
    I knew from the start we were different, but love grew… perhaps because she was with me through the worst time in my life, I was only aware and thankful that she was with me…we were living together by then..we lived together for four and a half years…
    I can’t get the image of her in the passenger seat of my car on so many adventures..long drives and just afternoon drives…and just to the store….
    Long story short (er)… She left me a year and a half ago over something she basically made up…her grades in a medical related field weren’t up to par at the beginning of the second year..when most courses get harder… and she ignored my urging for her to tell me if things got hard….
    I’ll skip ahead…don’t wanna bore anyone too much… today she has a baby with the ex-boyfriend of the girl who forged those checks…he jsut got out of prison last year… she blatantly denied dating a criminal… i found out only through one of her old friends….
    I wonder sometimes what would happen if she wanted back… I know it’s stupid… but one thing I learned from all this is that Love is blind… Sometimes I think I’d help raise the kid.
    As I muse about it all … it doesn’t change the intensity of my love for her….but it was probably more of father-daughter relationship..although her dad is a great guy… I felt so protective of her most of the itme…

    the other side is she is, as another contributor above mentioned..a narcissist, absolutely… after all I’ve done for her…( maybe it’s wrong to think like that)…she’s done the same things to her parents…
    last I heard she hasn’t even contacted her family , and her mom’s got a potentially life threatening problem…

    I know inside she wants to be normal..and having a baby did it for her…
    Sorry this is long,.. but it could have been much longer… I’ve made myself sick and I finally think now I may be starting to be better.

    She , as perhaps many of the women talked about here, has absolutely no regard for the efforts, love, and committment of those who have loved them… Just throws them away like Used People.

    Pain happens….Life goes on…. I guess we have to learn from it… or else end up on Jerry Springer…
    Wish I could get her out of my head…
    I’ll probably never see her again…
    Good luck

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3

    1. tree

      daniel thomas – You are one nice guy. Hope you find a good woman one day. You deserve it.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  12. trish

    No one is perfect, they are flawed. But you did have good times with her and she left you with some nice memories.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

  13. sugna maharg

    If you have a traditional marriage almost anywhere in the world sexual fidelity is the keystone of that marriage. Two people marry in order to reproduce and pass on the genetic legacy. As part of that marriage requires a substantial commitment of time and resources. In the USA a middle class family spends about $300,000 and 21 years raising a child. To ask a person to accept that they have been lied to and to accept a broken marriage contract is bad enough. To then ask that person to raise another mans child with all the time, effort and money is ridiculous! If you make a deal to trust someone with your life and they break the deal – leave them – they have proven that they were only using you. If they try to add insult to injury – leave them and publicly humiliate them so that they will not do the same to another person. A cheating spouse is by definition and “bad person”. A person of low character. This is what they are and they will only continue to be that way. Do not associate with them unless you want them to bring you more pain and suffering in the future!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 4

  14. mick

    hi everyone, I am mick I am 35 years old vie been married 11 years, abit about myself I joined the army in 1996 were I served all over the world and on many operational tours iraq, afghanistan etc., I met my wife in 2001 and I fell head over heels for her we married in 2002 and moved to Germany (with the army), we had a great life and life was full of fun.
    We started trying for a baby soon after with no joy, we tried for years and nothing.
    we decided in 2008 to leave the army and spend more time together to keep trying for a family again this didn’t work either, so after a year jobs were far and few between and money was tight, I decided to work away again, so I told the wife what I was going to do and she was happy enough for me to crack on.
    I started work in Afghanistan as a close protection officer on a number of diplomatic contracts, while I was away everything was fine the job was good and money great and I and the wife were happy.
    In December 2011 my life changed for the better as my wife told me she was pregnant, we agreed that we would say how many pairs of gloves it would be per baby, she had her first scan and it showed one baby, two weeks later she rang me in Afghanistan and said it’s not one pair of gloves its two well I was blown away, TWIN GIRLS.
    The due date was august 2011 but twins have to come early so they were born 21st July, I decided to take 3 months off work for the birth and to make sure she could cope with the babies.
    The birth went really well and we were a family( WELL AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT) I was soon on my way back to Afghanistan for another 3 month rotation, I was just getting settled back in to work when I got a message from my wife telling me we needed to talk.
    So I sent a message back saying what about, she said the girls, so I said what about them? She said there not yours I had an affair, I said WTF.
    I JUST WANT TO K*LL THE B**************D
    WHAT WOULD YOU DO???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

  15. Susan

    I think they both can work through this situation. They both should look what made the wife cheat in the first place. When you have a situation like this you should always look at the facts.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 11

  16. Michael D.

    I too am going through the same thing. I am currently deployed to Afghanistan and before I depolyed I found someone that would do this sexually, that my wife would. Betwine her finding out about that and years of being gone from deployments to Iraq (5 total), my wife of 12 years wanted a divorcee. During this time she found someone to sleep with. Now before she found out she was pregnant she wanted to work on our marriage once I came home, she wanted me back in the house. But she found out 2 days prior to telling me to come home to her and our 3 boys, that she is pregnant by this guy. I feel I can overcome this. Not like she was trying, and the fact I did the same thing. I have had the surgrey so I can get a girl pregnant. Not that changes anything, but I could have done the same thing. I want my wife, I want my kids and if I have to rasie this child as my own, then so be it. I just think that as long as he isn’t apart of the childs life and signs over his rights, I can do this….?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 8

    1. Jen

      may I ask you a few questions?
      I have done the unthinkable… to make a long one short, I was away for prior responsibilities and had managed to get TOO drunk and an old friend of mine had used my easy mind frame to enjoy the night … I woke up the next morning and seriously thought it was a dream ……. When I realized it wasn’t a dream and that it had actually happened I went out that morning and got the “morning after” pill .. he did use protection but it failed miserably…. after a week and a half went by I figured it would just go away like it never happened but then I had symptoms fatigue REALLY bad, anyways… I took a test and dang it even after both methods had failed I am pregnant .. I am married we have 4 beautiful kids and my husband is fixed. We decided we couldn’t handle anymore for financial reasons… I have broke down and cried to my husband and expressed my remorse and how that man doesn’t mean anything to me … BUT to my surprise he has Forgiven me right away and expressed how he could never stop loving me but that i needed to not mistake that for weakness .. that humans will makes mistakes just most “Accidents” don’t end in a pregnancy… and that he is confident it will never happen again .. Does the Husband ever really love the child??? Do they ever accept the child ??? Does it really make him think of the sexual act every time he looks at the child????

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 4

  17. wayne holly

    I married my wife after four years of dating…6 months after
    we started seeing each other she got pregnant..by another man that she was seeing at the time..he was marriwd and i did not know about thier relationship at the time..thought the baby was mine..found out after the baby was 6 months old…she told me and the married man around the same time..the married guy did not want to leave his wife and did not pay any child support…even though she tried her best to get him to leave his wife by sleeping with him on a couple more times..unprotected and her not on the pill…i ended up marrying her and have been with her raising her kid with another man for 14 years..i love her and her kid and have had a wonderful marriage

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 11

  18. Miguel

    I am currently in this situation, I have been married to my wife for 8 years in September. We have 2 daughters one of which is 8 and one of which is A year and a half old. I found out last year that she was cheating on me about 3 months after our second daughter was born. I asked her about it and she denied it, me loving her and wanting to be with her accepted her answer and moved on. About a couple of weeks after that she came home with marks on her chest and neck at this time I was furious and didn’t know what to do. So I did something stupid and tried to sleep with one of her family members.. We didn’t but it’s been killing me that I would even do such a thing. Well Christmas comes around and I find her truck in a nearby town while I was driving and called and asked her where she was and she said she was working. I went to check the truck and there was a phone in there that had pictures of her and another man hugging and kissing. Killed me on the spot.. I took the phone and didnt say anything to her. Christmas came around I gave her a really nice Watch and tried to make the best of everything. Later that night she was getting calls and kept leaving the room. I finally confronted her about it and she still denied it until I showed her that I had the phone. A week passed I kicked her out of the house. Over the next couple of months we were seperated and tensions were high as I was mad at her and she didn’t seem to have any regrets she did not even apoligize to me what happened. In May I ended up in the Hospital and had to get surgery, we reconciled shortly after, and I got us a new home in the same neighborhood as her mother. Then in August I found out she was still talking to the same guy from last year. I asked her about it and she said that they were just talking that I was blowing it out of proportion. Well soon after that she started sleeping on the couch instead of our bed. Then the week before Thanksgiving she said that she has something to tell me and she said that she was pregnant. At first I was happy, because we had talked before about having another child, also we had sex multiple times during that time so I didn’t think anything of it. Then thats when she told me that It wasn’t mine I was so mad at her that I didn’t say one word I just left the house for a couple of hours when I returned she was already asleep. The next couple of day I didn’t speak to her. About a week later I told her that if it was a mistake I could forgive her and live like everything was normal. So we were getting along then she said she had to talk to that guy. When she came back she completely changed again she did not want anything to do with me and that she wanted a divorce and would be gone by the beginning of next year. She doesn’t do anything around the house anymore I have to clean and cook She works late nights but still on the days she is off she sleeps most of the day or is out. My dilema at this point is I still love her and want to work things out but she doesn’t so I am considering going through the divorce but I dont want her to be here since I was willing to take care of her and this baby she has turned her back on me After what she did to me. So I am wanting to kick her out of our house but with Christmas being so close I don’t want to miss out on my girls Christmas. Someone please give me some advice..

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 11

  19. Rowland

    So I’m on the opposite side of all this. I met someone and fell completely in love. I have two children with my previous marriage, but have been divorced for quite sometime now. Anyway, this woman I fell in love with is married. Our feelings were mutual and after 2-3 months just spending time together we starting sleeping together. No disrespect to her husband, but I’m in love with her. So she is 13 weeks pregnant and has left her husband just a couple weeks ago. He only knows that she isn’t “happy” with the marriage. He still has no idea she’s pregnant. So for 6 months we’ve seen each other with a flame so strong it has to be love. She has told me numerous times that she is “so in love” with me. Just the past couple days, she has been non-responsive to texts and calls, or at least very short responses. Finally, when I called her out on being distant, her response was, ” I’m sorry for everything, but I’m not ready for a full-blown relationship just yet.” She stated that she needed to spend some time with her 5 year old daughter and just needed space. She also said that she felt overwhelmed with everything going on felt as if she were having panic attacks from it all. Meaning the pregnancy, divorce and I’m guessing me. She did get with the man she’s leaving at 15 years old and is now 24. She has never been with anyone else and I feel it’s just hard for her to cope with… Not really sure. But now she’s being distant with me and man this sucks. I know it wasn’t right for me to fall for a married woman, but I did. Why the sudden change with her toward me? It went from her telling me she loved me, to “I just need space,” With NO I love you. I’ve done nothing wrong so I’m confused. This is quite depressing, but I guess I’m getting a taste of my own medicine. Question is, why the sudden change? So lost…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 5

  20. StavoV

    Leave your wife, period. Make it clean and if you stay around, she will end up loathing you, for whatever reasons people have. Work on liking yourself, literally. When you know yourself, can function in any situation, almost, then life becomes so….so much easier and everything seems to fall into place. Love, well that is just a 4 lettered word, no more, no less. Committment to one another, that is a whole new ball game. Accepting everyones shortfalls, no matter how irratating, sure makes for a smooth run. Betrayal, whether a male or female, only degrades you as a person and in the end, well the means will justify the end result. There is no 100% guarantee about anything…..but if you learn to like yourself and can tolerate others…..like a warm, beautiful looking young woman on a warm spring day. If you catch my drift. Good luck dude.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

  21. John

    My partner and I have been together 19 years. I have never loved or wanted anyone more than her. We have an amazing and beautiful daughter who is 6 and both love her dearly. December 2012 was supposed to be when we were to marry. I cancelled. :( We had many problems that were not evident to me at first. Things were more grim than i could ever imagined. Lack of talking was are major flaw.
    We lost each other. Me being a man carried with normal life as much as i could not knowing what was about to hit from round the corner. I was stretching out the inevitable. Hoping things would get better but that was as far from the facts as it could be. We were sleeping in different rooms and i had turned to porn for some useless sexual release. Little did I know that my partner was on the verge of a critical break down. A few months before this she had gone running and fell. Like a knight in armour a man helped her up comforted her and they got coffee. That was the start of major pain. They started seeing each other on many occasions without a whisp of knowledge from myself.
    So, as mentioned life carried on. We were basically living separate lives and then one day she confronts me and tells me that she had seen the websites I had been going on. Pornhub, Selfies and Curvy girls. There was a big upset and she told me about this man she had met. He was S.A.S and commando soldier. So, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t kick his arse (yes I am British) because it would have been like throwing a stone at the moon. Pointless! She told me how he was there for her and he listened…etc etc. It was the first time we had talked properly for a year. Things were better with us. Then she text me at work and she told me she had ruined all chances of us getting back together. That night she told me she had sex with him at a hotel room.

    The reason why she done it is becaus she tought I was.
    It took a lot of help, talks and crying to get where we are now. I love her. Im not some sook who wants to be walked over. Personally I would not care what any haters think. There is now however, a 3rd problem and that would be that she is expecting twins. They aint mine but I know there are going to be my little girls brothers or sisters. I’ll will support them as much as i can. As for my partner she has been diagnosed with deppression in which she has to take medication for. My Mum has given up on us her Mum has to. I will never give up on her. She is the closes thing I have to heaven and I am not going to lose her again without a fight. Who knows what the future is. But I know one thing we decidebhow it goes.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 14

    1. shack

      you clearly have a cuckhold fetish, you should seek mental help and disassociate from such a person, but hey i dont know you, you probably enjoy humilation and pychological abuse. just know she is liable to leave you at anytime for the twins father or he can enter their lives at anytime

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

    2. mflores

      This may be months late. I think this situation suxs and in the end many lives are ruined for the sake of SELFISH partner you have. At this point I would just trow the towel. You will have to be willing to REALLY forget and forgieve and love and lust dont go hand in hand. You cannot forgieve if she wants to leave you for him. Now they are STUCK for life. She may be your angel, but she JUST destroyed BOTH of your daughters and her life forever all for sex? Bull, this is a full blown relationship she was hiding. Woman dont get pregnant easy. I read many times a man would stay but its not worth it. She will always come back to him and I would bet the other man wants her. Just leave her and be a good parent. You may spent so much energy trying to win her, but that would mean accepting another mans children and supporting them. Then how would they be raised? Can you imagine seeing THAT dude around YOUR OWN daughter? THE HELL WITH HIM, HER AND THOSE INNOCENT TWINS. She could have used protection but chose not to. I would bet with all due respect to your doughter, this was going on for the longest and when it was finally comingto terms boom she got pregnant. Dont THRUST THESE type of woman. You get the best in the end. Your doughter will know the truth and its double the work now raising her so she WONT FALLOW her mothers footsteps. Just CRY it out. Let her and him be. Start your life again. You DID NOT CHEAT and HAVE A clean soul. Most likely they may not even work any way and if they do who cares? I KNOW HOW IT HURTS. But this is now your life and your daughters. when you meet a new person you will feel better. I also suggets counsiling. I was with a woman for 4 years and fell so hard. Right before we made plans for marriage, she left and I found out she was pregnant for a married man. I almost ended up raising someone else kid. I did counseling and thought still sad of years wasted, I can tell you. I sleep well at night. I walked away clean. I cried months like you and still feel the pain but you KNOW what? This is my life. I did not ruined nor will I ever ruined a family. This man had no concern for the child you guys have. WHAT PERSON DOES THIS? THE hell with both of them..
      There are levels of how far a woman can take affairs/relationships. That is DYNAMITE, they wont care of the children, or people who love them. Thrust me, do split custody and move on. CHILDREN end up making the same mistake parents do so take care of your daughter.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  22. Please Help

    I am trying to find someone that has went through this and is STILL together and HAPPY. I am the women in this case and we have 4 children and the 5th one (She is 15 months) was by another man. I love my hubby and I want my marriage to work. We have been together almost 14 years.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 16

    1. mflores

      how do you want things to work if YOU ARE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX? 4 CHILDREN? Why would you disrespect them all? its unfair of your hubby to take that on..and im sure this affair has not ended. i say you leave since thats what your body is saying and take all the kids with you. you go work and support them along with the other disrespectful person. when hybby is done with therapy and finalized the custody he can have a loving respectful gf. Do not come knocking after that. you just destroyed many lives…..

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

  23. drc

    So me and my ex wife have been seperated for a year… but only officially divorced for three months now… I find out she is pregnant with another mans child.. but he left her to get back with his ex… she told him he can’t have nothing to do with the child…. and as for me I’m still deeply in love with her and have been sense we separated….. I think she still loves me…. am I right to step in and get back with her and raise this child as my own.. if she agrees?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 11

  24. Jacob

    I am 24 with a wife that is 30 she recently had an affair with her boss, calendar shows she could have been ovulating the week of the affair. She did have sex with me twice that week, and he only once…She is now pregnant with fraternal twins, I asked her to break all contact with him quit her job and move to a different city with me. She did, I forgave her and our relationship is getting better everyday! I won’t know who the father is until they are born, and honestly I don’t care I will take care of them if they are my blood or not. It’s tough to get through, but if the two of you are willing todo so it can be done.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 5

  25. TheDoc

    I am a victim of this situation. My wife age 38 of 4yrs had an affair with a coworker, which resulted in a pregnancy from that lover. I have not had sex with her for 2 months before this pregnancy. I move out. Weeks later she has miscarriage. The lover leaves her and now she wants me back. I told her no, divorce is going forth. Thank God i didn’t have any kids with her. I forgave her but i moved on.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

  26. george

    My wife and I are soulmates. We are now past the age of having children but I view the emphasis of leaving due to pregnancy as ridiculous. You sound as though you can get past a woman cheating but if she brings a life into the world you can’t ? LOL

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 6

  27. Tavis

    My wife and I have been married for 10 yrs. At the 8 yr mark we separated due to a non-sexual relationship she had and I forced her to move 600 miles away with our 3 wonderful children to show what she had in me. We have since been separated for 2 yrs and 5 months. I had a relationship outside of the marriage somewhat serious who had a kid. My wife had a relationship with trailer park trash which ended in October the week before we went to court to have the child support set. She says she realized what I am after the child support was set. Since we have had a great reconciliation; however, I just returned to Korea serving in the Air Force from thanksgiving leave. We did have unprotected sex while I was there. We also talked about having another child. I just found out yesterday that she is pregnant and is 7-8 weeks pregnant which means she got pregnant the week before we went to court. The guy is a piece of shit and useless to his other kid. I on the other hand am a great father and husband. We were working on our marriage prior to this news. I know it is his as I was not in the US during the time period of conception. I am a great nice guy and I’m scared if she cheated she will once again; however, if I know I will be the sole father period forever then I am seriously considering it. I often think that she thought of just getting her rocks off and not the 3 children and I. I Luv her with all my heart and want our family. My question is: will I be able to live with the fact that when the child is born it isn’t mine and be able to be happy? My whole world is shattered and I don’t know what to do. On the other hand inviting this POS into this situation if I decide to walk to be a parent to my 3 children will be tough as well. Please any guidance or advice from guys that have gone down this road will help…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  28. Tavis

    I forgot… I don’t know how… But she says she doesn’t believe in abortion even in this situation and I even said adoption. SO it is basically accept it or walk away

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  29. James

    For the Author who asked what my thoughts are as a husband of 14 years. The problem with this particular post in relative to how I would fair will immediately fall on deaf ears to any other particular scenerios thquestion can be used for. Using the word “affair” only means by definition sex outside a contracted monogus agreement bound by religious beliefs or any of the thousand reasons this contract is to believed protected and promised. So I hope to convey what I already understood and explained same way to her as I am you. My wife and I do not have kids. It’s sure not from lack of trying while whole time destroying everything to avoid the worst emotion possible “regret”. You name it the quest to find another way to beat infirtility as geneticly incompatibility with each other as a simple fact it just was could not be allowed as reality by either one or both as basic universe fundamentals. For then we didn’t belong together in the first place. It’s just the life reason life it exists anyway. checks and balances. And by all means should be destroyed of all binding agreements. We chose to keep and rewrite bind under a new one.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  30. James

    Are you with me still with me? I purposed a number of different ways of introducing another man and his “thingie” in my wife’s “thingie” with least amount of pitfalls for us to possibly face including unknown. You all know her reaction and all the things she said I can’t say on hear about being ok with some guy and my wife. Much much cruder of course. I just walked away and said nothing. You know what that action did. Yup not 10 minutes tops went buy to hear in a calmer inquisitive tone. ” So are you saying I cheat on you?….well or have an AFFAIR with someone and you would be okay with knowing I was cheating on you”. I still said nothing and she went up stairs. I followed 5 minutes later to now hearing ” not that I could, want, or willing to try with another man. If WE do this it has to be for you alone and not for me. ” . The other man was for US.

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  31. James

    So yes, technically I would by all dictionary definition of affair/cheating would make her guilty of it. And I would be okay with it. And trust me it’s far more complicated to move forward and would require massive amounts of communication abilities hurt in past years. Plus reprogramming of how sex can be nothing more than basic designs and tools to reproduce and are not what love, intimacy, etc. are made of. Its created and felt from two souls willing to stand together as one. Will we pursue? I don’t know stay tuned. But I do know my wife better understands and hope my story shed understanding for you. The wrong use or context of a word changes everything. I used “thingie”‘on purpose. Think about, a whole new meaning and set of destructive forces chip away on the foundation that is more fragile than they you thought.

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  32. Andy

    My wife of 3 and 1/2 years ended up pregnant while at a wedding reception. She can’t hold her wine and a black couple took advantage of her when she went to the bathroom.
    The only reason I know this a friend of mine saw the black gal and her friend have sex with my wife. They helped her back to the table and acted like nothing happened .
    When she found out she was pregnant tears and emotions took over, she had a baby girl!
    She asked me if I wanted to leave her she would understand, I said no that wasn’t going to happen. She had no place to go nor money. I just told her to relax I would take care of her and the baby. I will not leave her because she’s pregnant again with my baby a little boy. Our family will be different but I love them. Did she cheat yes she did technically and I’ve forgiven her,

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1


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