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My husband takes too long to finish when we have sex

Is it just me that goes through this? My husband can go on and on and on an on and he is usually so hard it feels like a stick in there. It’s very unpleasant. And he’s 55 and he doesn’t take any viagra or anything like that. I’m a lot younger and I can’t keep up with him. It gets real annoying. I’m lying there thinking “When is this gonna end? Oh my god, will you finish already?” The only way I can ever make it stop is to really get into it, like get really wild and start doing it like I’m going out of my mind, but that always requires putting on an act that I’m not always in the mood for. When I do that he can’t handle it and it’s over in a flash. I feel like this can ruin our marriage because it really bothers me a lot.

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My husband takes too long to finish when we have sex, 7.7 out of 10 based on 10 ratings
0 39 13841 31 July, 2011 Marriage Minute July 31, 2011

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39 comments

  1. Cheri

    Oh my God! I thought I was the only one that felt like this. My husband is the same, only he’s 29 and I’m 28. He’s really rough also and I just lay there hoping he’ll finish quickly because by that point, it doesn’t feel good anymore.

    Reply
    1. I would love it

      I would love this also. I want a man who like to have it a long time and at time rough would be great

      Reply
  2. SKennedy

    Sounds like your husbands are getting carried away beyond the point of remembering that there’s a difference between making love and f***ing. You shouldn’t just lie there and endure the banging. Slow him down, remind him you’re there, tell him it’s too rough. Rough sex can lead to a number of problems for the woman if she’s unable to endure the roughness without pain or discomfort, and the longer it takes your husbands to wrap things up, the more stressed out you are lying there waiting for the sex to end, the more increased chances you have of walking away with urinary and other sex triggered issues. When it reaches the point where you can’t take any more f***ing tell him you need a break because it’s taking him too long to orgasm. If you don’t communicate and take action the situation can’t improve.

    Reply
    1. I would love it

      To me these guys would make me feel really wanted and that they could not get enough of me. I would just love it. The older guy 55 if he love me, wanted to have a baby and was financially secure would have my respect. He could all night if he wanted too and I would treat him like a king.

      Reply
      1. S. Pulido

        Watch what you ask for, I’m married to the same type of man. @ 1st it was GREAT. I too loved the fact that he was so attentive & his stamina was out the door. But after several years of marriage it’s sometimes very painful. He is my king & I love him heart & soul. But believe me the sex is not so enjoyable when your in pain after an hour or more of bumping & grinding. Extra lube doesn’t always fix the problem when your inner hoo haw is tender as hell.

        Reply
  3. knowledgeable LoveHer

    Why complain about a potentially good thing? U women sit here n complain about your husbands lasting too long in bed when there are millions of women who’s husbands can’t last long enough for them to climax. With that being. said there are many potential solutiond to your problems. The first being stop being lazy, coy or whatever u want to call it, and get on top. How can he hurt u if u are in control. I can just picture u laying there like a lifeless cpr dummy. Of course he has to pump vigourously to turn himself on because apparently u aren’t doing the job. Also if you withold sex from your partner, it’s likely that he’ll take matters into his own hands. Ladies that is not a good thing. His hand has greater grip, which causes greater friction than your vag ever will. Therefore masterbation devsensitizes the penis, making penetration less pleasurable. So take control, more sex and you’ll have him bursting in no time.

    Reply
    1. I would love it

      I could not agree with you more. As I said before the 55 year old I would treat him like a king. I would cook his, have sex when ever he wanted and I would take more control and want to do what pleased him. I would also want his baby. If this woman does not want him send him my way

      Reply
  4. I would love it

    I would love a guy who would want to have sex for lon periods of time. If you two don’t want your husband I will take the 55 year old. I want an older man. I would love to please him

    Reply
  5. It would be my pleasure

    For the 55 year old I would treat him like a master. I would cook his meals, clean his house, get pregnant and carry his baby. I would make love to him all of time he needed. I am 38 I would be at his beck and call. I think he could make feel good and in bed

    Reply
  6. I would also obey

    I would also agree to be an obidient wife. Especially to the 55 year old. He could be inside me all night if he wanted

    Reply
    1. Charles

      what the fuck? How obssessive.. gotta tell… name’s Charles, italian 32 years old, go to the gym five days a week, 8% body fat, a d ck with 7 inches and usually last almos an hour with an active partner, if you just lay down there i get bored and get off.

      Reply
  7. No one understands

    I love my husband..No you can’t have him! But having someone pound away in your vagina 30 mins or more after you’ve already climaxed gets annoying and painful!
    I think the advice we’re looking for is how can we help our lovers reach climax faster?

    Reply
    1. Ann G.

      I feel this way too. Having him go on and on and…………long after I have had an orgasm, DOES start to get painful. I mean does it just not feel pleasurable to him anymore? Is he thinking about something or someone else? He has told me,just in the past year that he has NO sex drive,anymore. I’m starting to wonder if he has ED or if his boozing is starting to take it’s toll.

      Reply
  8. 27 years and going strong

    My dilemma..
    I have been with my Husband 27 years, he’s 44, I’m 43. The past year or so, he’s taking forever to come, and I have 3 orgasms a night. Is he viagra bond? He’s on NO meds, no stress, and not cheating. It’s almost like I need to try harder for him, when not that long ago he would come if I touched it ???

    Reply
  9. Lex

    Okay, to all the sad, desperate people saying they would love this scenario, you are idiots. Especially the ones who would want a baby from an older man. The rate of Down’s Syndrome rises in every decade after 35, for one. While that’s not to say those kids aren’t beautiful and unique, I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t be able to handle one if your immediate responses are envy and fantasizing about how you could do it all. That doesn’t work in real life. Particularly in this instance, men don’t all ejaculate off the bat and run off, and it’s not a “dream come true” to have a long-standing partner, either. Both feel the stress to perform and enjoyable for their partner, and that can make sex stressful. Always talk out your feelings. Don’t accuse him of being the problem, and don’t attack him with impatience. Try spending a longer time leading up to the event, too. Baths, massages, making out. Most importantly, put away your mental chores. The more you think about what you need to do, the more anxiety trickles in. Take the moment, practice some Kegels, and have fun.

    Reply
  10. Ann G.

    This problem with him taking too long to have an orgasm is really starting to affect my relationship with my husband. Sex is not pleasurable and it just feels like having a pap smear after with a tampon after awhile. I just want to push him off me. which probably makes me seen as selfish,or he may feel unwanted or used.I am thinking that he may have ED or is experiencing the early signs of impotence.

    Reply
    1. Lynn

      Sadly, its a bit of a vicious circle. I’m 51 and my husbands 53 and I have noticed that stress does take him longer to finish or not finish at all, but sometimes there was no evidence stress. I did some reputable research and this is considered normal for some men as they get older and have been in same relationship. (30+ years). Problem is that since menopause my sex drive has tanked. The vicious cycle is the men can sense our disinterest and that perpetuates the problem of them taking longer. A good friend is a psychiatrist (and no he did not recommend drugs like everyone thinks!!). But he did caution not to say “why is it taking you so long” that would also create psychological issues and make him take longer!! I am not sure what the answer is, but it is frustrating. Instead of lovemaking the whole focus of our encounters has become making him climax. I wonder if some of it is because he is about 40 pounds overweight? I have gotten some topicals that may help me with my sex drive, but I am not into porn so I don’t want to go that direction. Good Luck!

      Reply
  11. Laura

    I am getting married to my live-in boyfriend of 3 years. Ever since we started a physical relationship, it has taken him 30-55 minutes to climax. He can masturbate to climax in 5 minutes, but sex is different. 25 minutes if a “quickie”. We have tried a variety of positions and activities, but it makes littler difference. Sex sometimes seems more of a dreaded affair than anything else because after 30 minutes my poor ladybits really feel the friction! What has helped us is true communication. I gently brought up that sometimes I have difficulty enjoying sex because of the friction over time, and we talked about ways I can ask him to slow down, or take a break. We sometimes break and go back to foreplay to ease the stress. He admits that he gets caught up in thought cycles, and it’s hard for him to really focus. We are also incredibly busy (we both work 2 jobs) so we don’t get to practice as often as we’d like. The more regularly we have sex, the faster his finishing time ends up being.

    My suggestion is find a way to bring it up to him without putting the blame on him and see if you guys can come up with some sexy solutions together, as a team.

    Hopefully this is more helpful that those empty-headed trolls pining after your torn and worn genitals and man-babies.

    Reply
  12. mikehhhh

    A man can lose a lot of feeling down there as he ages, which often leads to delayed ejaculation. However, there are penis health cremes available that contain acetyl L carnitine.. which is an amino acid that will enhance the sensitivity of the penis. Get your husband to start using one of these cremes and your sex life should become a little more normal. Hope this helps.

    Reply
  13. Tracy

    Hi my husband is 28 I’m 27. Before it only take 10 min for my husband to finish after we had kid, now it take him forever to finish and sometime he can’t come after 30′ banging me. Is it because having a same partner for 4 years my husband getting bore of me or I’m not attractive anymore and sex with me become so boring that’s why is so hard to finish and sometime he can’t come…

    Reply
  14. Chris

    Ladies, this isn’t helpful at all saying you WISHED you had that type of husband. I thought that with my first husband at age 22-34 he lasted 2 minutes tops – I was barely getting started and it was always disappointing. I recently remarried at 51 and my husband is in his 40’s and it goes on and on and on and on and it gets painful and frankly after 15 minutes I’m ready to throw in the towel. It’s awful to have to fake like you’re still having a great time when really you just want it to end. He and I are discussing how this is going make us both happy. I will fill you in when we come to a conclusion. I told him the trade off is frequency. If he goes on and on for over 30-40 minutes, I’m not in the mood for another week. If he can climax in 10-15 then he will get sex from me more frequently.

    Reply
  15. Art

    You whinny old tired ass bitches now you know why your men cheat on your dead asses complaing how long he take maybe he takes long because your loose ever think of that stupid c*nts!

    Reply
    1. Chris

      Wow Art that was very mean! I am sorry you must have much hurt in your life. I will pray for your healing. I’ve never been cheated on, why would anyone do such a thing? Or choose such a person with that capability? Assumptions… you know the rest. My problem was pain due to celibacy for years prior to marriage. Since the original post it has all worked out extremely well. I am sure you’re very happy for me and my husband as certainly you derive joy from the success of others. God bless you.

      Reply
    2. Charles

      Unfortunately I gotta agree with Art, it is mean but it is the truth.. I was married for seven years, after three years my wife would just lay down and expecting i’d do the whole f**king work, i always loved to suck her dry but when you start the penetration it was awful, like f**king necrophilia..

      Reply
  16. Sore

    I completely understand, my husband takes SO long. He says he always has. His very first time lasted 2 hours!!
    We have four kids and I don’t have the time or energy to has hour long sessions each time plus I get very sore.
    We’ve been married for three years now and this is starting to become an issue for me. I’ve hinted around about it then I’ve told him sometimes I don’t want to get started bc it takes so long.
    We are very attracted to each other and the chemistry is unbelievable, we just need some help in this area.

    Reply
    1. Fatimah

      I’m in the same boat as you!! I think women are built differently than men. Personally, sex once every 4mths is good for me!;)I don’t know why the hell I got married. If I knew then what I know more I’d have been celibate for the rest of my life.

      Reply
  17. Harry

    I take a long time, I always have.
    The longer it takes the better it is at the end for me. Some women thought it was The most amazing thing in the world, others after 10 minutes thought hey I’m done how about you. If your boyfriend takes a long time and you don’t like it find another boyfriend, don’t marry people you don’t enjoy there style of lovemaking…..duhhhhh
    Deal breakers only seem bigger as the years come that’s why they’re called dealbreaker’s

    Reply
    1. Olivia

      Relationships change over time though (together 17 years). We started off with decent timing on both sides now he takes way to long and I cum quick. I get infections if it goes on to long – that’s an unfortunate fact and no way around it. One infection turned septic and put me in the hospital for 4 days. Our solution is have vaginal penetration until I’m done, then he jacks off to completion on any part of my body – usually my face.

      Reply
  18. stompie

    I’m 29 male and last long as well.
    Thanks to Mikehhhh the penis creams really increase sensitivity .I’m glad i can now come in ten minutes

    Reply
  19. In love with my hubby

    My husband is 2 years younger, I’m 43, he’s 41. He takes forever also. I just don’t worry about it and take advantage of it. He said he’s been like that all his life. All the women in the past have complained about it. I just try to go with the flow as long as it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with him. At first I felt bad. But he’s always been that way, so he’s obviously accustomed to not getting off.

    Reply

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