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My wife sucks the enjoyment out of life

On so many levels, I hate my wife, but I’ve been stupid enough for nearly 20 years to put myself through this miserable relationship. I am genearally a happy person with an adventurous spirit, but when I’m with her, that is quickly crushed and I feel trapped. Whenever I’m with other people (and away from her) I feel liberated and that I can actually be myself.

She tries to be very controlling and is very judgemental, bitter, argumentative, etc. etc. etc. Oh we fake it pretty well to the outside world, but in this relationship, there is little holding us together. We bicker and fight regularly, and don’t even think about bringing anything up that has to do with my family or she just shuts down or goes into hyper bitchy mode. But of course her family is in her life every single day (even though they live 300 miles away)… phone calls to/from her Mom discussing all the stuff they hate about life and people, but my wife is even more bitter than her Mom. God I hate to see what she is like in another 20 years.

The only saving grace at this point is that we don’t have any kids (and you can imagine why that is…) so if I ever got up the guts to file for divorce, there wouldn’t be that extra mess to deal with. Of course now she keeps saying she wants kids everytime she passes someone with kids. She is angry that she never had kids, but then you gotta be willing to do something to get pregnant… seems a bit ironic. I often asked her in the beginning if she ever had dreams with me in them… the answer has always been no, but there are always dreams about her family and her childhood homestead. I believe she is just so stuck in the past, that she won’t move on.

She has no self-esteem and takes out her anger on me constantly reminding me that I’m so much better at everything than she is and anything I do seems to make her angry because she says, “I’m just not like you”. So she tries to make me feel bad for it. Believe me, I’ve tried for all these years to provide some kind of encouragement, hoping if I could make her feel better about herself, it might help our marriage… no luck as of yet. She has this knack for sucking any good mood right out of me in an instant with just a glare or some comment about how I think I’m so much better because I can do this or I can do that.

So many more thoughts I could pour out on this keyboard that I’m sure it would bore you to tears… but this is my rant.

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My wife sucks the enjoyment out of life, 9.1 out of 10 based on 17 ratings

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0 11 6070 13 September, 2011 Wife Bashing September 13, 2011

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  1. Joel

    The constant complaining is getting to be intolerable. Today, she was talking to her sister on the phone complaining about this and that about me. While doing this, she was moving closer to me and talking louder making sure I heard what she was saying even though she was speaking Spanish. I don’t speak the language very well but I do understand a fair amount and she knows it. She the hung up and started telling me how her cousin posted photos of her anniversary saying, where are the photos of our 40th? I pointed out that I’m not a photo person. We have a camera but I’ve never been the sort that carries a camera around for every occasion. I said that if it is so important, why didn’t she think about and do something to make it happen. She’s been nagging me about taking a cruise to Alaska even though she is constantly saying we don’t have money. When I remind her of this she turns it into a confrontation saying I have money to feed my three cats but none to spend on her. I see all of this as unhealthy. She just sucks the life out of living.She will never be content with me or, in my opinion anyone else. It’s hard for me to be motivated to even be awake after she does and says the things she does.

  2. Ken M.

    These stories sound so familiar! We can be going along just fine and suddenly she feels the need to say something crappy about me or my family. I understand that she’s unhappy in some ways (mostly financial), but I do so much around the house, make some money working part time, and do all the cooking (including a once a week dinner with mother-in-law) and shopping, while she does nothing around the house. Mostly it irritates me that she feels that she must say something hurtful out of the blue for fun. I guess she enjoys it, but I find it just ruins the evening (as usual). I used to support my previous deceased wife and my daughter and never complained. It was a pleasure to be able to provide for them. To this wife, it’s all that matters. No amount of love, caring, compassion, work around the house and gourmet cooking can ever compensate for the wonderful money that she provides (which by the way isn’t enough, apparently).

    1. John

      I know bro, don’t have kids with her. You will regret it. If u gaining divorce at end, than why make it complicated. Don’t give in, don’t have kids, or else you will pay for 18 years in child payments and if miss one payment, police will come after you. Don’t to it, just say no.

  3. Brad

    I am in the same boat post kids…. I knew the reality of the situation prior to children but refused to believe it. My wife is simply a miserable person and will never change. I would love to divorce but I can’t do that to two small children. Especially considering they would be alone with her at least half of their lives.

    You should get out now. Get out and be happy.

  4. Trevor

    I’m in the exact same situation in fact if I didn’t know better I’d swear I’d written this rant . I need to just get a divorce . I guess since we have been together so long and I’m now 50 I didn’t want to deal with dating or living alone the rest of my life but starting to realize even alone is better than this constant hell . To make matters worse my wife is the laziest person I know . She make the house a huge mess and won’t lift a finger to clean even though I work super long hours and travel a lot when I get home the house is a pug pen . I am a neat and clean organized person and this combined with the continuous bitching is just a miserable existence . I feel trapped and just go sit at coffee shops to get away from my house and wife all the time . I want my life back just dreading the ugliness divorce will bring. I’ve been through a divorce once 20 years ago and it was the worst thing I’d ever experienced I guess I just feel compleately beaten down . Not sure how to gather the strength to get my life back .

  5. Boomer

    I just read all of these comments and in some sick way (which I apologise in advance for) they made me feel a lot less alone. My wife has been lazy since we had children. She has no desire to do anything fun unless it includes friends and a bar or some kind of band to go see. We moved to Montana (her home town may I add) to raise kids in a great place and have grandparents near by. I would think this would be a win win. Getting her back to her good friends and family. Plus it’s a great school system here and some of the bets outdoor playing in the world. Unfortunately I have realized there is no happy place for her. I don’t know if any of you are dealing with a woman who becomes more of a feminist every day but I hope not. The anger and this horrible world that us white men created seems to be her biggest concern. When I ask for examples of the sufferage she or people she knows have experienced she flips out. I’ve learned to not ask for facts or logic. She told me she could never love anyone who couldn’t accept Hillary lost because she is a woman. We have been married over 15 years and this is the kind of shit I get about every couple of months. She has become the most non sexual person on Earth. My parents think she is one of the most miserable people they have ever had to spend time with. My sister thinks other than helping me raise 2 amazing girls (which I remind everyday how much they are loved because she doesn’t think saying I love you is necessary) she is lazy and going to women’s is her big accomplishment as apposed to being a hard working successful woman herself. We do a big week long raft trip (100% me) with a couple of our best friends and their families. On this past trip both men asked me if something was wrong with my wife. Said it seems like she’s been in a bad mood and short fused for a while now. Yeah- no shit I said. I can’t even picture growing old with this miserable mess but I’m not about to leave my children with her to be brainwashed to hate men and this awful world. She never has had a great day. She sleeps in why I do all the stuff that needs to be done for the kids and the day ahead. I hardly even step foot in the master bedroom any more because it’s such a mess and smells bad- maybe changing the sheets more than 3 times a year would help but that’s not my concern because I’ve been on the couch for a couple of years now. Plus I clean the whole rest of the house. Well- thanks for letting me vent. Wish me luck


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