Some people are chronically negative and that can be a serious drag, especially when you have to live with them; but most of the time there’s stuff going on there that has more to do with deep feelings of self contempt, depression disguised as hatred for everything and everyone in the world, and deeply rooted dissatisfaction with life in general. Understanding why your wife complains all the time isn’t going to make the complaining become more tolerable; but it might be a more effective start in helping her to work on the underlying issues than taking the approach of belittling her feelings and disrespecting her by labeling her complaining as “bitching”.
A wife who complains all the time is an unhappy wife. A husband who considers his wife’s complaining “bitching” tends to be an impatient or otherwise not supportive husband. When her husband is not supportive and makes her feel worse about her situation by treating her like she’s a nuisance and her feelings don’t matter to him and furthermore her talking about her feelings is annoying to him, a wife is obviously going to have more to complain about; and the more she complains the more annoyed her husband is going to become for as long as he maintains that attitude of not really caring to get to the bottom of what is making his wife complain all the time. In such a situation both parties would appear to lack productive and constructive communication skills. You both need to work at creating an environment where you can express yourselves in a manner that promotes understanding and that’s intended to make things better for both of you. Happy people don’t complain all the time so if your wife is complaining all the time the first thing you should realize is she’s unhappy. It’s not your responsibility to make her happy but her unhappiness is causing you discomfort, frustration and misery so it’s obviously not in your best interest to make the situation worse by coming across like you don’t give a damn and you find her annoying and wish she’d stop “bitching” all the time.
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