How to make your husband love you more than he loves his mother
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How to make your husband love you more than he loves his mother

If you have arrived here looking for advise on how to make your husband love you more than he loves his mother, you have right away identified one of the biggest factors that will thwart your efforts to achieve this goal. You are competing with your husband’s mother for his love. That is almost always going to end with you being very miserable for a lot of years or getting divorced before too long. The same way your husband’s mother has no business interfering with his relationship with you, you have no business interfering with your husband’s relationship with his mother. A man’s love for his mother and his love for his wife are never at odds in his mind or heart because he loves his mother one way and his wife another. He can’t love his mother more or less than you because his love for his mother and his love for you and two completely different kinds of love.

If your husband seems to care more about his mother’s comfort and her happiness and well being than he does about your happiness and your comfort and well being what you need to be examining and worrying about is your and your husband’s relationship, not your husband and his mother’s relationship. His love for his mother doesn’t threaten his love for you. It’s not like he has only so much love to give and once he’s given 90% of it to his mother he only has 10% left for you. If your husband doesn’t seem to love you as much as you would like him to love you and as much as you think he ought to love you, you should focus your attention on figuring out why that is and what to do about that within the boundaries of your marriage. No one else can be held responsible for your husband loving you less than he should. If someone can make him pull away from you then he was never quite fully with you to begin with.

Sometimes the best way to get on your husband’s good side in situations where there’s conflict with his mother in which he appears to take his mother’s side, is to cease the conflict, embrace his mother and learn to love her as much as he does.

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0 9 4422 18 April, 2012 Love Hate Cheating Divorce and Everything Else April 18, 2012

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  1. Mrs B

    This is a silly statment.My mil is very very evil & twisted I could go on & on…
    She is very jealous of me & her sons relationship to the point it’s very weird.I could never try & love her as much as he does.She is very manipulative.All mil’s are very different & mine is truly awful.I have cut her out of my life & wish to never see her face again & I have confidence that my husband will do the same one day…

    1. Teresa

      If your husband is a mamas boy, he will never stop, ever. Everything he does will be around her. I know, I have been married to one for 38 yrs. an it only gets worse.

    2. Casey Miller

      My fiancé and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. He purposed to me 9 months ago and our wedding is in 2 years! I do love his family and he loves mine. He does put me number 1 but his mom seems to get very jealous of our relationship. She is very kind, but also makes little comments such as “my little boy will come back to me” “mommy loves you” and she still calls him his nick names from when he was little. I will be 21 this year and he will be 24. She will rub his back and try to rub his face but he will turn away because he feels very weird about that. One time he was playing with my hair and she made a comment “he use to do that all the time to me when he was little before he fell asleep” and then she laughed and told him to stop. I have talked to my fiancé about how her comments and her trying to touch him bothered me, and he knows he’s going to have to talk with her one on one about her boundaries. I understand that’s her “little boy” and that he will always be her son and I know I can never take that away from her and I don’t want to, but I think she needs to treat her son like an adult now. We both don’t live with our parents anymore and are very happy together. I just want to not feel so uncomfortable in front of her with my fiancé. She looks at him like she should be looking at her husband. She was married 3 times including his dad that she didn’t get any help with. She now has a 12 year old daughter with my fiances step dad. My fiancé and I do many things with his sister, and his cousin and also my brothers and my cousins. We love them! My future mother in law also made a comment one time about “how she doesn’t see much of him anymore” “how if his mommy never liked me, he wouldn’t be with me” and sometimes when it’s us visiting she will sometimes ignore me. I know her son will always come first in her life but I wish she wouldn’t act as if I wasn’t there. She tells us about how her husband doesn’t give her attention like she needs so she seeks it from her son. She is the kind of person who gets sad if someone doesn’t give her a compliment. She is a very nice person that I love to be around besides when she makes awkward comments. In her mind I still think she believes my fiancé will put her first again. Even her own mother (my fiancés grandma) told her that she is not the most important person in his life anymore. It just hurts me a little because I don’t want to compete with her. I try my best to make sure we make things equal between all family as we do and how it should be. I just can’t handle her wanting us or more likely him to be where she is especially on holidays. She needs to know that she raised her son great and he treats me like a queen. I just want her to know that I treat him great too. She always tells me how lucky i am to have him. I just smile and say “I know” but I think he is just as lucky too. I am a good hearted person, maybe I’m too good of a person for letting things slide like they do. This isn’t even half the things that have been said. Our first thanksgiving was spent with his mom and grandma at his grandmas and his step dad had to go to his thanksgiving alone. I didn’t go to my family’s at all. If my fiancé spends time with my family, his mom gets all weird about it. She has jealousy issues, anyone who spends time with her son is in competition with her. I told my fiancé that he needs to talk to her about this soon just her and him. This needs to be resolved by the time we get married before I start not wanting to see her much. I know that it’s common for this to happen, but does anyone have any advice on this particular situation? Put yourself in her shoes and my shoes. It’s a tough situation for my fiancé also. I still respect his mother because she raised a great man. She is just having a hard time letting go and interacting with him in an adult manner. She sees that we love each other with everything we have (at least that’s what she says) it just bothers me that she still wants the same affection and time she has gotten from him before this chick came into the picture. I just want to know everything will be ok for everyone? I am a major people pleaser and like I said this doesn’t cover it all not even close but it’s a background understanding of how things are right now. I want things to get better. And I will make sure our wedding is about us. I love this man and he will be the father of my children someday.

  2. willowreed

    my husband has always thrown me (and our kids) under the bus for his family. we are never considered ‘good enough’ even though my son just graduated law school and my daughter just got accepted into a speech pathology masters program. i think the writer is full of baloney. in *many* cases the sons love (over love, over attachment) to his parents is taken to ridiculous levels. sure the man can and should love his parents, but he can and should love his wife just as much, and treat her as a valued part of his life, not someone that should be ignored or treated to a lesser status than the parents. i think the marriagescene answer is crap.

    1. Barnaby Jones

      Of course you think the answer is crap. When have women ever wanted to hear the truth? They just want the damn fairy tale. Get over yourselves and face reality. You all suck. Why would your husband love you more than he loves his mother unless his mother is a bitch like you who does nothing but try to suck his blood. Maybe s*ck his d*ck and do it good and he’ll make you more important. Otherwise you’re just a miserable complaining demanding bitch he’d just as soon be rid of. At least he can get a good meal and unconditional love from his mother. From you what? Bitching and complaining and bullshit. F**k all you bitches. You’re worthless.

      1. carmen

        I don’t want a damn fairy tale. I just want respect .. I give him good sex a good meal n clean everything .. n I’m pretty sure a lot of guys would want me because apparently I’m really f*ckin pretty pretty face nice body .. so for him to beg me to give him what he wants and me even give to him what he wants without asking .. I get crap I don’t even get a massage but I don’t bitch to him I don’t complain but hell somethings gotta give n i better become somewhat a priority in his life before he loses me and our daughter

      2. Kathryn Panaro

        Don’t get married if u don’t want to put your wife number 1 in your life.
        Stay at home with Mommy and never get married.
        It’s admirable to help your parents…Stay Single.
        The Bible says to leave your parents and cleave to your wife.
        SHE is your mate and will be the MOTHER of YOUR CHILDREN.

  3. Lisa

    My husband says weird things to his mother, the other day he was trying to buy her a plane ticket to come here and she said she will not stay in my house, even though I have said she is always welcome here. he made the comment that he knows how to treat a lady,?? That’s funny cause he doesn’t treat me like a lady.. in reference to putting her up in MY offices clubhouse or a nice hotel. He never spends any money on me or takes me out anywhere nice. I pay every time we go out to dinner, I loan him money all the time, I can’t remember the last time he did anything like that or treated me like a lady even though I always buy him things and take him out. She texts him things like how she hates being kept kept from her grandchildren and him.. I have NEVER tried to keep her from them. I have asked her if she would try to be more in their life, and she told me I better mind my words. She’s never even met our 7 year old son. My husband is an only child and she only has two grandchildren.she hasn’t seen our oldest since he was five, he’s about to be 15. My husband always gets extremely jealous of her new boyfriends. It’s just weird. She tried to tell me three years ago to leave her son that he will never be the man I need and then when she got him to her house she tried to tell him not to come home to me and our sons. I just don’t get it. Everytime he talks to her he gets sad and drinks alot and he won’t speak to me and gets very distant. What in the hell is going on? They talk in private on the phone, he only talks to her when I’m not around and if I am he goes outside to talk. She never even asks to talk to the kids when she calls. Doesn’t call on their birthdays or holidays, nothing. Am I crazy?


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