I’m not fat and I’ve never been as fat as some of the complains I’ve read from men who are unhappy about their wife’s size; but I did gain weight at one point in my marriage and went outside the range of “normal weight” for my height by a couple of points. During that period I never felt like my husband found me less attractive. Far from it he seemed to want me more with a little meat on my bones than when I was only skin and bones, and I see the evidence still because my body is naturally inclined to be thin and when I’m not being mindful not to lose too much weight he doesn’t slap my ass quite as much as when I have a little something there to slap.
I might not be qualified to speak on the subject of what to do to make your husband still want you after you’ve gained enough weight to be considered fat. My experience with being fat was shortlived and I probably was more “full-figured” during that time than fat; but these days it seems like any woman who wears a size bigger than 2 is considered fat anyway.
In my experience, my being bigger did not lessen the excitement of sexual intimacy with my husband. He didn’t stop wanting me. If your husband has seemed to stop wanting you, probably the best thing you can do is not let it affect how you feel about yourself. Sometimes the sexiest thing on a woman is her attitude. I’ve seen some larger women who ooze sex appeal. I saw one just the other day. She was very large but she was wearing a very short dress and sashaying without apology to anybody.
Sometimes when women gain weight they develop this way of carrying themselves that screams to the world, “Yes, I know I’m fat and I’m ugly and yes I’m ashamed of how I look and wish I didn’t have to be seen by anybody.” What’s sexy about an attitude like that? Whatever shape your body is in it’s your body. You wake up in it every day. You walk around in it every day and you need to love it regardless if its perfect or not. You can love your body and still strive to improve it and make it better. Just because you chose to accept yourself as you are and love yourself and project confidence in your appearance doesn’t mean you don’t strive to improve. We should always strive to be the best that we can be but that doesn’t mean when we’re less than our best we have to hate ourselves and allow the rest of the world to hate us and mistreat us for our imperfections.
I believe firmly that we tell people what to think about us by what we project. The fat woman I saw the other day, she didn’t care what the rest of us thought. She felt good about herself. She loved her body and didn’t try to hide it to make other people comfortable. So I’d say loving yourself is the key to making your husband still want you while you’re fat. Convey that you feel good about yourself. You love yourself. You feel sexy. You are sexy. And if he doesn’t agree because he thinks a fat woman has no right feeling good about herself while she’s fat, don’t let his attitude affect yours. If he prefers you to feel fat and ugly and not sexy that’s his problem. He should want you to feel good about yourself.