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Getting pregnant by another man when you have a husband

There are a few active discussions on this site about married women getting pregnant by someone other than their husband. I try to imagine myself in that situation and I don’t see it ending well. Recently two men lost their lives when a woman’s husband decided to kill the man she cheated on him with while he was deployed. He then killed himself after killing the man his wife slept with and got pregnant by. (Two men, Jason Eimer and Christopher Apger, killed in Jacksonville North Carolina murder suicide)

Ladies, I completely understand that you get lonely sometimes. Maybe in the case of the wife of Christopher Apger, theĀ  Marine from Camp Lejeune who shot and killed his wife’s lover, your husband is deployed and you’re finding the nights alone unbearable; or maybe your husband is right there but he’s neglecting you and your only option for getting emotional and sexual fulfillment is to hook up with another man; but putting yourself at risk to get pregnant by another man is completely inexcusable. I know it doesn’t automatically follow that the reason cheating wives get pregnant by their lovers is because they have unprotected sex. Sometimes birth control methods fail; but if there was a time for you to double and triple up on the efforts to protect yourself against getting pregnant this is surely the time.

Of course the ideal situation is for you to not cheat on your husband; but I get that it’s not as simple as I try to make it appear when I suggest getting divorced if your marriage isn’t working before you do things that result in other people getting hurt. If you’re not going to leave the marriage first and you’re going to cheat, be responsible. It is not okay for you to go out getting yourself pregnant by another man while you have a husband. That’s so completely disrespectful. As if cheating on your spouse isn’t bad enough, whether it’s the wife getting pregnant by another man or the husband getting another woman pregnant, that is the ultimate insult to your spouse. That kind of thing drives people to fatalistic acts of rage.

Maybe you don’t care about your husband and you want to insult him in the worst way imaginable, but before you set out to satisfy your need to hurt your husband, try to think about what could result. Stop playing games with people’s lives. Grow up. If you’re not happy with your choice of husband, terminate your marriage and find someone else. If you’re not going to terminate your marriage, get help learning how to live with the choices you’ve made in a way that does not threaten anyone’s livelihood, including your own.

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0 0 3627 04 June, 2012 Marriage Minute June 4, 2012

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