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Do husbands feel insecure when their wives lust after other men?

I don’t think I’ve ever come across a complaint from a husband about his wife looking at and lusting after other men. I wonder if husbands ever feel threatened by their wives interest in other men or if they generally don’t worry about it? I’m probably generalizing, but it has never seemed to be the case that a man’s sense of security is tied up in how his woman feels about him, unlike women for whom life often falls apart at the slightest hint that their man might not in fact only have eyes for them.

Sometimes it does seem like husbands are less concerned how their wives feel about them. I’d go so far to say that it sometimes seems like they don’t really care one way or another. They don’t appear to need affection or admiration from their wife. They don’t seem to care if their wife is attracted to them or not. It’s more or less like they’ve already got her. They don’t have to do anything to try to keep her. Far from that they spend their time trying to avoid her and appear to want as little interaction with her as possible outside of sex.

I suppose if a man has a hot wife towards whom he feels possessive he might have a problem with her lusting after other men, but your average husband isn’t paying any attention to his wife in the first place. He wouldn’t notice if she was looking at other men, and even then, he would only care if she went out and had an affair, and that wouldn’t be because he was hurt that she slept with someone else. It would be the disrespect and the feeling of being insulted that would bother him.

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0 4 2280 14 June, 2012 Marriage Questions June 14, 2012

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4 comments

  1. Joe

    Here’s one husband’s perspective:

    I am one of those guys who would not have any problems with my wife looking at and lusting after other men, but it’s not for the reasons stated by the OP. It’s not that I am indifferent to whether my wife is attracted to me. On the contrary, I do everything I can to stay physically fit, well groomed, and well dressed in order to stay attractive to her. I think the real reason why men are happy to have their wives lusting after other men is that we figure that we will end up being the happy beneficiaries of that lust later on in the bedroom.

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  2. rob

    I feel she has cheating in her mind or heart if she lusts after others its not a good thing to feel and its very disrespectful. Be with the man you love or just be single and lust like a girl in heat over any decent looking guy its impossible todo both if you genuinely love whom your with

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  3. dennis

    so ive been with my wife for 2 years now and I noticed everytime a friend would come over I felt she was lusting them to where they would be low key messaging each other and I could never figure out how or why I felt like my friends would get some while im gone or something dirty from my wife over messages because my friends would suddenly feel uncomfortable but turned on while glued to their phones while my wife would be also , my friends would give off a nervous vibe like a secretly hiding something right in front of my face vibe as I ask my wife why do all my friends act this way when she responds back she loves me and no one else and that she would never look at a man that way and she don’t need another man that she loves me and that’s all she needs is me but my friends come by and my wifes is more friendly then myself to my friends as if they do things as me and my wife would I have never seen my wife look at another man the way she does to me and lately its been that way I just need to knw how to get her to tell me the truth if she is lusting for other men or not what can I do I need advice desperately its tearing me apart I love my wife with all my heart idk what to do guys?

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