I’ve just finished watching this short film on youtube. I have to admit I rolled my eyes at the end. It’s a cute little film. I didn’t roll my eyes at the film, I just rolled my eyes at the message; but I think that’s more a reflection on me and has more to do with me and my experience with marriage. The fact is, not all guys are dying for an opportunity to cheat. There are going to be guys who read this and roll their eyes and say, “yeah right”. If you believe what you read on message boards and in comments sections on blogs and other websites related to marriage and relationships, all married men are bored with their wives and would welcome an opportunity to sleep with another woman, provided of course the other woman is hot.
But the message in this film is that there are husbands who are loyal to their wives even when there is opportunity for them to be disloyal.
I suppose I rolled my eyes because the men I am familiar with aren’t of such noble character, including my husband. I would bet a million dollars that I do not have that my husband would never turn down an offer to have sex with a woman unless that woman is just so grossly repugnant in some physical way that he couldn’t bring himself to have sex with her. He would never turn down a woman who offered to have sex with him solely on the basis that he’s married.
While I was watching this short film I experienced a range of emotions. In the beginning while she was sitting at the table waiting for him to come home I was reminded of some of my own experiences in my marriage. I felt saddened knowing many wives go through this every night–feeling alone and lonely while waiting for their husbands to come home from where-ever he’s gone to hang out.
When her husband came home drunk and she was trying to care for him I thought to myself, “oh so this is what you do when you love someone”. When she took off his shoes it seemed like such a loving act, one I could not see myself performing if I had found myself in a similar situation. After the husband told her to take her hands off him and called her a bitch I thought that this is what you get for loving selflessly. You get crapped on. You get mistreated; but then they cut to the next morning and she’s done all these kind things anyway. Again I thought, I guess this is love but seriously where does self respect come into the equation. Does this man deserve this woman’s love?
Then she comes home from the store and he asks her what happened last night and she sits him down and she tells him; and even he’s confused as to why she would still treat him so well; but then she tells him what he said after he had called her a bitch and told her to take her hands off him. It turned out in his drunken state of mind he hadn’t realized it was his wife he was with. He thought he was someplace else with someone else and it was the someone else that he was telling to take her hands off him because he was a married man.
So suddenly he becomes noble and his wife’s loving actions are justified. She didn’t make his favorite breakfast and iron his clothes and clean his house to the point of things sparkling because she is a woman who lacks a backbone and will take any treatment her husband metes out and keep loving him whether he deserves her love or not. She did all those things because she realized she had a loyal husband who would not cheat on her — a man deserving of the kingly treatment he receives.
I’m all for spreading positive messages about love and marriage. The fact of the matter is, not all married men cheat. Not all husbands hate their wives. Not all men think that women are all c-words that men would never have married if not for the thing between their legs as expressed by this gentleman (here). Some men do love and respect their wives and take their vows seriously. I suppose those are the men who are getting the kingly treatment from the wives on the receiving end of their love, respect and loyalty. The rest of us will continue to remain stuck in our unbearable circumstances vying every day to see who can hate each other the most and make each other feel the most like sh*t.