I have to admit about abusing a man who did nothing wrong for over three decades at his fathers request and cheating on him as well. When it came down to the last two years he became mean inflexible, uncooperative and without any trust at all, all too willing to cause harm to those that try and take his rights from him.
When we first married if you told me I would end up doing what I helped do to my husband I would have said there was no way I would ever consider such an action, but here it is almost 33 years later and the things I did at the request of his father and his fathers friends have become a thing of terror.
When my husband had been gone for the first three and a half years of our marriage due to the needs of the navy upon his return to the position he left on a military leave five years before. his father and several of his fathers friends came to me and asked for my assistance in getting my husband not to use his accrued seniority rights that had built under the UAW contract. Rights he accrued by being on military leave and with the three years he had before he joined. I did not understand how this thing called seniority worked. I just new they said my husband when he came home had more than sixty percent of the workforce when he returned and it could cause chaos if he used them. His father sad I would cause a whole bunch of angry people. which his father told me were many in that kitchen that day.
I was also told if they chose they could make my life a life of being a guest of the state and my husband to. They asked that I get my husbands cooperation in not taking his seniority rights for at least a year or two. I was asked not to make my husbands return home very pleasant. I had heard from the ombudsnman about the trouble that happened the refit before this last patrol He was tited because of not being allowed leave or a day off since we were married three and a half years before, and he had just pulled in with another boat from another patrol, when he went back aboard he got 2 hours of sleep before the morning formation and then found out he was tiger teaming or ships maintenance when he was not standing nuclear weapons security Guard, standing his watch in Missile Control center and his Chiefs watch, I heard the trouble started when he had been awake 80 hours straight that week, He just about shot the Squadron commander when he refused to show his ID in a nuclear weapons exclusion area, then his chief refused ti sign to get a part on board because he was going to meet his wife ashore, this was after being awake 98 hours they said my husband had not realized he had hit his chief knocking him out after he said it was to bad he was leaving the ship he would not sign for the part. then I guess my husband collapsed in the crews lounge the next day.
Everybody said that my husband was not the most affable person that patrol but most understood he had not been home in years, Its just that the abuse started there continued the day he returned for the next 25 years, In that time he had six days off all when a brain tumor was removed, the rest of the time he worked at least 12 hours per day except for holidays that were 16. what we discovered was that taking a mans rights away for no reason was easier than figuring out how to allow them, Then In 2010 he had MRSA in his Spine. Disabled permenantlly and required three years of even harder work to walk. I felt bad that we had done this to a person that was essentially a person of honor. but when they comited me to this action in for a dime in for a dollar. since this action was started my husband has hurt a total of thirteen people including his father. Two yeas ago next month I felt his wrath turn on me when I tried to negotiat a restarting of marital rights at a later date He decided they were starting that night, His father, his mother and his fathers best friend I was supposed to go to a fund raiser with that evening are three people he decided did not have anything to say in the way he conducted our marital life any longer and apparently I did not have a vote any longer Since then there is nobody that has a vote in our marriage but him. If I am invited to a family function he runs right through his fathers objections, If I am invited he say his name is also on the invitation I mentioned this was very rude and he said wasn’t it rude to shove a shotgun in his back and force him to work the last nine years of holidays, he said consider it repayment in kind, I am now at a loss to try and do anything to help anyone else by trying to keep my husband from taking the rights he wants to take no matter who wants him left out, I saw him walkup to a bouncer one night that was checking names on reservations found that my name was on one arranged by hus father and I was supposed to be with his fathers friend When the bouncer said he had to stop my husband the poor man was hoisted up by his arm in an arm bar and my husband said you want to bet I can break your arm before you scream for not letting me go with my own wife because of some jerks name. That was Last memorial day. His fathers jaw was broken when he objected with a slap to my husband being rude that night. my husband returned with a backhand.