Dinner might be a better time to get your spouse to join you at the dining table. Why not make something special for dinner tonight? Didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day yesterday? That’s okay. Every day presents you with a new opportunity. So consider today an opportunity for you to take a step towards repairing your marriage.
Repairing your marriage with rump steak?
Of course you can’t repair your marriage with a piece of meat; but you can please your spouse with a special dinner. And you don’t need a special occasion to prepare a special dinner. So don’t wait for your wedding anniversary if it hasn’t already passed. And don’t wait for next Valentine’s Day. Start the process of working towards repairing your marriage with a special dinner today. But keep it your secret. Don’t tell your spouse that you’re making a special dinner as part of a plan to try to repair your marriage.
There is nothing you and your spouse cannot overcome…
I was speaking with my father a moment ago. He and my mother will have been married for 49 years come August 2015. I can remember some of the fights they’ve had over the years. Some of the memories are sad; but I understand now what I didn’t understand as a child. When you’re a child things seem a lot more tragic than they are in reality. My parents probably wouldn’t say they had a great marriage. But what is a great marriage? They have been married since they were 16 and 20. They have been through a lot together. Everything you can dread and hope you will never go through with your spouse my parents have experienced in their marriage. But they have remained together because they believe firmly in the “institution” of marriage.
Could your views on marriage be undermining your ability to find happiness in your relationship with your spouse?
When I spoke to my father today he and my mother were having breakfast together at the dining table. It was interesting to me because I had just finished writing the post “Repairing your marriage with Sunday morning breakfast“. And my parents, married going on 49 years, were having breakfast together at the dining table. I probably should have gotten off the phone so they could finish but my dad and I spoke for a while. And he left me with a great deal to think about.
I won’t venture to speak for anyone else, but I think that for me I have never taken marriage seriously. I will have been married 18 years come April 4th 2015; but I have never been in a marriage. And I often blame my husband exclusively for this. But I am equally to blame. I no more had the mentality that marriage was about “us” than my husband. I was as much concerned with my own agenda as I’ve ever accused him of being.
Sometimes repairing your marriage first requires facing yourself…
I’ve always said my husband wasn’t ready for marriage. But neither was I. I was every bit as selfish, wanting my own way. In fact of the two of us I could be said to have been the most unwilling to compromise. My husband did a lot of taking. But he also did a lot of giving. I don’t think by comparison I did nearly as much giving. My husband took but seldom was he taking something that was being willingly given. I just never viewed marriage from the perspective of my responsibility to my husband. I didn’t necessarily view it from the perspective of his responsibility to me either. I’ve never supported the idea that a husband and wife owe each other anything. But without a sense of obligation what is going to be your motivator in keeping you wanting to give unto this individual for the rest of your life? If you had the kind of love that could carry your marriage from beginning to end, your marriage would not be broken and in need of repair. So you need that sense of obligation. But it’s a two way street. You can’t be willing to take freely and happily but unwilling to give as freely and as happily.
Take small steps….
Every day is a new opportunity. Have dinner with your spouse today and try to make Sunday breakfast and/or Sunday dinner a regular thing.