Anonymous says: Too bad you can’t bitch slap her. And I mean hit her so hard that you permanently stun the bitch out of her. That would be all it would take to fix your problem. Either she would leave you, thereby freeing you from having to put up with any more of her bitching; or she’d learn to keep her mouth shut lest you smack the living crap out of her and leave her with a busted face.

Anonymous isn’t serious of course. He’s just fed up and frustrated and speaking in the throes of his anger.

You can’t bitch slap your wife.

Well, technically you can; but it would constitute domestic battery or some form of a domestic crime. You could go to jail. So it’s probably in your best interest not to listen to anonymous. Although anonymous is probably right that if you hit your wife as hard as he/she suggests, it probably would indeed fix your problem. Your wife would either leave you or she would come to fear you enough to change her ways in order to avoid being hit by you again. But again, hitting your wife is not okay. It’s also not okay for her to hit you. Domestic violence needs to be eradicated from society. It does not need to be encouraged.

So if you can’t “bitch slap” your “bitch wife”, what can you do to get her to stop “bitching”?

Ignore her…

Ignoring someone who is insisting on being heard can be difficult. But it is arguably the most effective strategy for quieting a ranting person. That is, if your sole objective is to get them to leave you alone. If you don’t care why your wife is upset and you just plain don’t want to have to sit there listening to her, completely ignore her. Act like you don’t see her. Act like you can’t hear her. As long as she’s not the type who will react to being ignored by becoming physically violent, your demonstrated lack of care and concern over her “issues” will soon enough get her to tuck her tail between her legs and walk away. If you don’t engage her then she has no audience. Some people might go on ranting for a bit, getting louder and more volatile the harder you try to ignore them. If you don’t have the inner fortitude to wait for the strategy to work, get up and walk out at the point where it becomes too much.

Your wife will be flabbergasted to see that you’re getting up and walking out while she’s in the middle of “talking” to you. She will be upset. She will feel hurt. She will become more angry than she was to begin with. She will resent you and store the resentment away for another opportunity to “bitch”; but you will have spared yourself this session of bitching. And that was sole objective. So mission accomplished.