Married to my wife 17 years but together for 22. We have 3 kids. Met her when I was 20. Believe it’s or not, I was a virgin. She was not. She was previously engaged, had an abortion, and slept with 4 more guys. This was her past and I never brought it’s up. They last 10 years, she has gotten angrier and angrier at littlest things. She screams constantly. Our kids are good kids, I have been faithful. If she gets angry at me, she gets mad and tells me I blame her for everything. Even when I have not blamed her for anything. When she screams, she seems to get mad that I don’t scream back. I try to talk and understand. Then she always reverts to some discussion that I should go finding someone else. Hat I’m too perfect. Then she threatens to divorce, and grabs a bag and leaves. She comes back after a few hours and slept on their couch. Within a few days, she seems to be over its and will initiate sex. But she will not talk about her screaming or any issue. It’s as if sex is supposed to say I’m sorry or something. She will not go out on a date night with me, ever. Not valentines, anniversary, or anything. She will go out with her friend’s from work at their hospital where she works part time on night shift taking x-rays. Her co-worker friend’s are all divorced. One of them 4 times. Another is having a long time affair with a guy in their hospital. I am not happy with her choices of friends. They seem to all be out drinking and picking up guys. She goes away on a girls weekend with them to Chicago every year as well. We have never gone away just then two of us, ever. I finding this all very disturbing. She downloads movies on her tablet. I found icons for dating sites on her tablet which she told me was downloaded with them movies sometimes. I find it’s hard to believe. I am a good looking guy, I get hit on quite a bit. I turn them down. I have a good job making just over a 6 figure salary but I do have to work long hours at times and have to travel overnight at times during their week. Maybe once every 3-4 weeks. I am good in bed, she has multiple orgasms on their one time every other week when she will have sex. I am involved with the kids. I tell her I love her, I try to hold her hand, but she always says not now. I help a round them house although she does not let me cook or do laundry. When she had our first son, she had bells palsy which made them left side of her face semi paralyzed. It’s came back some but she is always talking about it. She declines my advances for intimacy even kisses or hugs. We are both 10 pounds over weight but not bad for mid 40s. Lately she has been saying that I settled when I married her. When she fights, she always eventually says I should go find someone else. She says she is giving me a “hall pass”. I think this stems from guilt either from her past or whatever I really think is happening. I think she is cheating on me. When I did bring up her friend’s that is having the affair behind her husband’s back, she says that does not make her a bad person. Between the dating sight, working nights, the anger and guilt that is apparent, I feel this is the case. She screams and fights in front of the kids and has said I can have the house and the kids will want to stay with me anyway. The kids know it’s is not me and they, being 15, 11, and 9, are angry with her but not telling her, only me. She only goes to church occasionally, I go every week. She seems to have turned her back on the church, on me, and even the kids. She fights and brings up divorce. But always as “because that’s what’s you want”. Even though I never thought or mentioned it. I is as if she is trying to project it’s onto me to make herself feel better. She says, bring me the papers, I’ll sign it. But the next day or two, she will act as if nothing happened. A make up sex night and it’s is over for another 2-3 weeks. The kids and I are on eggshells, trying not to set her off. She would not tell me if she was cheating, and I am not say enough to know for sure. She is protective of her cell. There are many things I have left out simply because I don’t have the time to write the book it’s would take to tell the complete story. What’s are your opinions and or advice? I have tried to get her to therapy but she wont.
What is up with my wife? cheating, guilt
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]What is up with my wife? cheating, guilt,