tired – husband’s other woman is pregnant again
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tired – husband’s other woman is pregnant again

My husband has a baby on the way by the same woman again

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Editor's Response

  • Your husband’s other woman is pregnant again and you’re tired of the whole darn mess…
  • Cheating on you and getting his mistress pregnant was bad enough but you dealt with it the first time. You got past it and now the other woman is pregnant again?
  • Who wouldn’t be tired and fed up (and hurt) to learn that their husband’s other woman was pregnant again with their second child together? But…

If your husband is so much involved with another woman that they are about to have their 2nd baby together, they are very much in a serious relationship. If you’re tired of it as the title of your submission suggests, why not walk away from the situation? That you are still there to complain about the pending 2nd baby suggests you have to some degree accepted that your husband has another woman in his life. Maybe what you need to be coming to terms with is that your husband pretty much has a second family. It’s not just that he has another woman. He has another family. And families grow. New babies come along.

Husband’s other woman is pregnant for the second time and you’re staying around to complain?

The question is, if you’re not okay with the situation, for what reason are you hanging around? Are you still with your husband because you can’t leave or because you won’t leave? There are women who share their husband with his other woman. There are men who have more than one woman and multiple children with each woman. These are situations that people accept and agree to. But since you’re complaining about your situation, I’ll assume you have not necessarily accepted or agreed to the situation of sharing your husband with his other woman and allowing him to start and grow a family with her. So if you’re not okay with it, why are you still there?

Presumably the first baby was a shock for everybody. But you did not leave your husband after the first baby. And your husband has continued in his relationship with the other woman. Now they have another baby on the way. You don’t really have any choice here except to:

  • Accept the second baby
  • Pack your things and leave
  • Tell your husband to pack his things and leave

At this point you can’t give ultimatums. Your husband isn’t really cheating on you with another woman. The “other woman” is as much his woman as you are. Perhaps she’s even more so in his own mind. And no doubt in her own mind she is his woman and you’re just the wife she’s waiting on him to leave.

If you can’t accept the situation for what it is, walk away from it. That’s the only power you have right now. If you can’t walk away for one reason or another, accept the situation for what it is. Your husband cheated on you with this woman and got her pregnant. And instead of regarding your acceptance and forgiveness as an opportunity to repair the damage and rebuild your trust, he continued in his relationship with this woman and has gotten her pregnant again. You have no power to bring an end to that relationship. It might end in time or it might not. Whether it does or doesn’t will have nothing to do with you. And if it does end while you and your husband are still married, you will have no control to prevent your husband from starting a new relationship with another woman. You will have no power to prevent his bringing more babies into the picture. So accept that which you cannot change.

In the meantime try to fill your own life with the things you need for your mental, emotional and physical well being. Seek serenity, humor, wisdom and courage. Don’t beat yourself down or let your circumstances beat you down. Release the fear and shame. Love and trust yourself.

You deserve to be at peace. Make the choices that allow you to find the peace you deserve.

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Disclaimer: Editor's Response answers should not be taken for expert advice. The person behind the Editor's Response is not a relationship expert but just a regular member of the general public and all Editor's Response answers should be considered in the same light as an opinion given by a random individual on the street. Some Marriage questions are manufactured by Marriage Scene writers based on Internet research.
0 0 299 15 May, 2015 Marriage Answers May 15, 2015

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