I have been married to my wife since 2003. She is not bad looking at all, though she has gone a bit fatter. Why is it that I see every Girl OR Lady with grown tits and below 35 years of age with lust. I am myself 38 and should not be doing this. Why do I have a dirty mind.

Editor's Response

It is normal to be attracted to other women even if you are married and your wife is attractive. Some men might be more distracted by their interest in women than others; but you would be far from being alone in what you seem to consider a problem. As long as you’re not out there leering at these women or otherwise harassing them you can hardly be faulted if you take notice of the pretty girls you see.

But at what point is it just that you happen to notice a pretty girl and at what point is it that you are objectifying all the women that you see who meet your criteria of being worthy of your notice?

Appreciating someone’s beauty in passing is something altogether different from leeringly ogling them and reducing them to an object of lust.

If it’s the case that any and every attractive woman you encounter gets your notice, and your reaction is always one of wanting to get it on with each and every one of them, then maybe you do need to examine your attitude towards women.

As far as your wife is concerned, it would be good if you could consider how she would feel (assuming she would be upset to know about your penchant for ogling women). But at the end of the day, forsaking all others doesn’t necessarily mean never looking at another woman again. Some women are secure enough in themselves not to stress about the fact that their husband finds other women attractive. But for other women this is a very hurtful thing. It is devastating to their ego. They already feel inadequate as it is what with being bombarded every day with reminders that they’re not attractive or desirable enough because of their weight, their age, their looks. When their own husband goes giving his interested attention to the women society celebrates as being worthy of attention for their attractiveness and desirability, it makes them feel completely and utterly worthless.