Why do some men say they can do without sex,and sneak and have sex with their WIFE while she sleeps? ?

Editor's Response

I’ll leave this question to the men to answer; but if you need more immediate insight, there is an article on the same subject that has generated some interesting feedback from men. You can read through the comments there to get some insight into why some husbands sneak sex with their wife while she’s sleeping. It’s definitely one of those subjects that sheds light on how differently men and women view marriage. It’s the kind of thing you really want to read with an open mind because opinions are quite strong one way or another.

Based on the comments, one would have conclude that every scenario is different. The answer isn’t the same for every guy as to why they do it and how they view the act of having sex with their wife while she’s sleeping. The situation isn’t the same for every couple.

Some people would suggest that the idea of a husband “sneaking sex” is not possible given the idea that his wife’s body is his body. So he wouldn’t be sneaking because he’s taking what is his. Other people feel strongly that if the wife is not awake, did not give permission and is not aware, then she’s technically being violated. It can definitely be a touchy subject.

Here are a handful of comments from the article

June 16, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Well, i have done it.. twice i am ashamed that i did it. however, i went to therapy to see what they said. They said that in in my life lately things have been missing. wife out drinking, im worried sick about everything, mostly her health. so they said that in the back of my mind im taking what i believe i deserve, a stressrelief. i still feel bad about it. but she (terapist) kinda justified it..

February 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I have done this too. Early in our marriage, she said it was fine – she even encouraged it. About eight months ago, that changed. She woke up, freaked out, punched me, said she felt violated. Somehow, some repressed event that had happened to her when she was younger (which I had no idea about until after the fact) was dug up. I see these posts where wives are okay with it and I have to admit, I’m jealous. I’m in a virtually sexless marriage with a super hot wife. It sucks.