Guest wrote: I am a lady of twenty six years am amrried with two kids of which my first kid is not my husbands child. He has however, known about it and wants to inform our families. That will surely take me to my early grave i would want him to keep it a secret. Please help me.

Editor’s Comment

What’s the worse that can possibly happen if your husband informs your families that he is not the father of your first child? Secrets always have a way of coming out anyway. If your husband is insistent on telling your families, it’s probably best that you let him do it and get it over and done with. Perhaps to make it less difficult for yourself you can put on a united front and make it appear to be a decision you have both made. If your families care about you and love you they won’t judge you too harshly and they certainly won’t modify their behavior towards your first child. If you lose the love and respect of anyone in either set of families, then you probably didn’t have much of that person’s love or respect in the first place.

If this all ends up with lives being turned upside down, well, whether it happens now or later it’s probably going to happen anyway. And those were the things that should have been considered before the situation was created. Mistakes of this magnitude are seldom possible to sweep away under a rug for the rest of time. It’s better to face them head on and deal with whatever comes.

Time has a way of allowing us to get over things we thought would kill us. Face your mistakes. Admit them, apologize for any harm your actions caused to other people and move on. There’s really nothing more you can do. But to carry a lie into years and years compounds the mistake beyond just the mistake itself. Truth has power to build. Lies can only destroy.