Guest wrote: Like to nite he asks his sister for help to hold down wood while he screws in screws .and to sit a certain way to do something. And just all of his words to her sounded like fore play.he never asks for my help always sister or niece
Editor’s Comment: But it’s his sister though, so maybe you shouldn’t take it the way you’re taking it unless you have solid reason to suspect some type of inappropriate relationship. Instead, just tell him you’re there and will be happy to help, so maybe sometimes he can give you a chance to help. But he’s not really doing anything wrong by asking his sister to help instead of asking you.
Maybe you can try telling him in a non-confrontational way that it makes you feel a little left out and unneeded when he asks his sister for help but doesn’t ask you. But since these feelings are likely entirely caused by your own insecurities, be careful not to try to put it to him in a way that sounds like you’re accusing him of being somehow insensitive to your feelings by asking his sister to hold down the wood while he screws in the screws instead of asking you.
In the meantime examine what’s really behind your feelings. From what you write it sounds like you feel threatened by your husband’s sister in an “other woman” sense, like you think your husband flirts with his sister and has an inappropriate connection with her. You also mention his niece in a way to suggest you might have some resentment of your husband’s relationship with her as well. So it sounds more like a case of you being insecure about your value to your husband. You think that he should turn to you for help when he needs it, but he’s turning instead to his sister and his niece. This makes you feel unimportant, undervalued and not needed. It’s definitely understandable that you would be hurt and upset to think your husband doesn’t need you and relies more on his sister than on you; but that doesn’t mean you have valid reason to be. It doesn’t mean your husband is doing something wrong and needs to stop asking his sister’s help and start asking you to help him instead. It makes more sense that you should make an adjustment to the way you’re processing things in your head. It’s not rational to think it sounds like foreplay when your husband talks to his sister. If they’re close realize they were always close and shouldn’t suddenly stop being close because he has a wife. They’re always going to be brother and sister.