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Marriage is 50/50 ?? Ha!

I’ve been married for over 25 years. I’ve been the breadwinner in the family for that time, including 17 years where my wife stayed at home with the kids, where I worked two jobs. Getting her to go back to work almost resulted in divorce, because I objected to the job she decided to take, which was working in retail. This job has made it near impossible to have any kind of regular schedule – meals are god knows when, there’s one weekend month where she’s home, and who knows when that’s going to be.

It seems my purpose in life has been reduced to providing income, doing the food shopping, making sure all the cars are running, and cooking more than 1/2 the time.

So I’m 53 and I’ve worked my ass off and sacrificed health and happiness for what?

If I could afford to get divorced, I would.

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0 2 449 30 May, 2016 To Divorce or not to divorce May 30, 2016

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2 comments

  1. Mark Savel

    Ok, I understand things were different for your parent’s generation and that’s who you learned from, but you have to give up some of that control, and if you want to be happy, you’ll have to drop the resentment as well. It sounds like you basically forced her to go back to work, and if that isn’t good enough, you wanted to choose her career for her. Now, since you weren’t able to, you are pissed that she’s not doing the things that she used to do when she didn’t work. Did you prefer the way things were before she went back to work? It sounds like she probably did. If you can’t afford to live on one salary, than maybe you need to downsize, assuming you don’t have the kids at home anymore. You need to take ownership of your half of the relationship and stop acting like a child whining about the things that you aren’t getting out of the relationship. I think you also need to decide what it is you want. Nobody has forced anything on you, in fact, it seems that you have mainly forced this all on yourself.

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  2. LoriJ

    Well said Mark. I usually agree with the person who is tired, irritated, but I agree with you here. He can’t have both, and you can’t tell her where she can work. It’s 50/50 now, split it up!

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