I’m 64 and need a change in my life. I recently had a squabble with my wife in which she admitted to me that she married me because she was afraid of being alone in old age. I was in love with her when I married her and had just come off of a failed marriage that only lasted a year. Our sex life has really only one been sided and now doesn’t exist even though at 64 and a PC survivor of 10 years I still have the same desire and can perform. I work out on a regular basis and feel great. I am retired but see the need to return to the work force even part time as I am not engaged an any new contacts to maybe help transition to a more fulfilling life, what I have left. We have 2 grown sons and 3 grandchildren.
I remember talking to my doctor about 11 years ago about leaving her to which he answered “wait till your youngest has left home”. The youngest didn’t leave home until he was 21 and now he is 25. Much has happened in that time, shutting down a business that I had for 23 years which I lost interest in due to my wife’s negative inputs and continued demeaning comments leading to no motivation and the prostate cancer was the last straw. We had inherited money from both sides of our family due to different circumstances but she has inherited more by roughly double. She doesn’t care to be involved in investing the money so I have taken the initiative. I also have tried to trade some of our cash with a greater portion being hers and don’t want to do it any more.
I have done cash flow statements looking forward with a divorce scenario. I could buy or rent but would need to live in a different location which I have also looked at. Pulling the trigger on an exit strategy is not easy for me. I have been kind of a loner all my life and have had counseling where it was pointed out to me the need of a support group. I have lost many friends over the years because they do not fit in my wife’s world.
I remember many promises from my wife regarding our sex life like the one when I had a vasectomy that we would engage in more (that didn’t work). Actually I can probably count on both hand the times when she instigated the sex and it was usually on a Sunday morning before we got up for the day. We have had sex three times in the last year and the last time was horrible. I remember back before our marriage an incident with her female cousin where I caught them kissing which she dismissed (this should have told me to get out but she told me I was seeing things).
This is the first time I have ranted about my situation on line and I hope maybe someone may be able to put some insight into what I am trying to say and provide some input.