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35 years going no where married a virgin
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35 years going no where married a virgin

I’m 64 and need a change in my life. I recently had a squabble with my wife in which she admitted to me that she married me because she was afraid of being alone in old age. I was in love with her when I married her and had just come off of a failed marriage that only lasted a year. Our sex life has really only one been sided and now doesn’t exist even though at 64 and a PC survivor of 10 years I still have the same desire and can perform. I work out on a regular basis and feel great. I am retired but see the need to return to the work force even part time as I am not engaged an any new contacts to maybe help transition to a more fulfilling life, what I have left. We have 2 grown sons and 3 grandchildren.
I remember talking to my doctor about 11 years ago about leaving her to which he answered “wait till your youngest has left home”. The youngest didn’t leave home until he was 21 and now he is 25. Much has happened in that time, shutting down a business that I had for 23 years which I lost interest in due to my wife’s negative inputs and continued demeaning comments leading to no motivation and the prostate cancer was the last straw. We had inherited money from both sides of our family due to different circumstances but she has inherited more by roughly double. She doesn’t care to be involved in investing the money so I have taken the initiative. I also have tried to trade some of our cash with a greater portion being hers and don’t want to do it any more.

I have done cash flow statements looking forward with a divorce scenario. I could buy or rent but would need to live in a different location which I have also looked at. Pulling the trigger on an exit strategy is not easy for me. I have been kind of a loner all my life and have had counseling where it was pointed out to me the need of a support group. I have lost many friends over the years because they do not fit in my wife’s world.

I remember many promises from my wife regarding our sex life like the one when I had a vasectomy that we would engage in more (that didn’t work). Actually I can probably count on both hand the times when she instigated the sex and it was usually on a Sunday morning before we got up for the day. We have had sex three times in the last year and the last time was horrible. I remember back before our marriage an incident with her female cousin where I caught them kissing which she dismissed (this should have told me to get out but she told me I was seeing things).
This is the first time I have ranted about my situation on line and I hope maybe someone may be able to put some insight into what I am trying to say and provide some input.

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0 1 88 24 October, 2016 Liars & Cheats October 24, 2016
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1 comment

  1. Nobody's fool

    Sir ..I have, short of the cousin kissing portion , in your same shoes. My wife’s participation in our sex life is best described as no show…I too was told that a vasectomy would be a frequency stimulant but to no avail . …but more cruelly she would pretend to want some intimate activities and tell me get in bed and I’ll be right up. Then I would hear the TV turn on down stairs or the vacuum going or the dishes rattling in the sink and other activities that could have waited and I would lay awake for hours waiting for her to come upstairs , I would call to her repeatedly to be told I’m coming just got to finish this but by the time she came up I was asleep . I believe that was her goal. I’d complain to her about it and would get oh well I came up and you were asleep . This happen so often that I kept a tally sheet of the number of times this happens . I confronted her with the tally and she seemed remorseful , even bought me an apology card that said it would never happen again . I used the card to make the new tally sheet and recently presented her with it and the dates she pulled what I now call her Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown manuver. She apparently was us this as a method of saying she initiated sex but I wasn’t receptive as I had fallen asleep . Her other beautiful move is to find something trivial to argue about when she senses I’m in the mood. Something as pointless as coke vs Pepsi can spark a feud that leads to her sleeping on the couch….I in turn went to a counselor for some,of my issues to better take care,of me. I told the counselor all this and she asked if my wife was on anti depressants and she was the next question was is her counselor aware of this? I said she doesn’t have a counselor . .my counselor said that it would be irresponsible of any practitioner to prescibe anti depressants and not include counseling . We are in that process

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