I have been married a little over a year and in that year I have discovered that my husband who I still stupidly love was talking to several exes. Now I confronted him and like a child he threw a tantrum and continued to tell my I have it all wrong and it is of course not what I think…ok fine. I am convinced my husband is seeing more that one woman and he does not even have the courtesy to leave he just lies and tells me I am the only one , but I see the evidence before me. I do not want to leave my husband just yet, but I am sad and lonely. I sit in the house alone while he stays out sometimes days at a time with other women or as he puts it his “friends”. So I have started doing things not terribly cheat like but up there. There is a guy at my job and I’m not 100% attracted to him but he is a person I can keep my nails sharp on if you get my drift. I let him look and touch my breast from time to time and grope my ass when he feels like it to get my kicks. Harmless fun to get through the day when my husband doesn’t touch me because he is to busy chatting with instagram hoes or twitter bitches and facebook f**ks. Recently this guy indicated that he wanted to have sex and for me to give him a blow job I told him that is where I draw the line I will not put him in my mouth or body because I still reserve that for my husband.(I know im stupid to do that) I offered his something better I gave him a hand job at 2 o’clock in the afternoon in my office and he blew his load all over my work shirt (had to destroy that shirt). He was shaking I can tell he had not done that in a while and it made me feel powerful sexy alive. When he cleaned himself up I asked that he not forget to do the training seminar and let me know if he every needed it again and that was that.

I need that feeling again, but I want it from someone I am attracted to If my husband does not touch me or give me some kind of affection I’m afraid I am heading for a full affair.