Dear Husband what can I say a little over a year ago I married someone who I thought was my best friend, the man I would continue the rest of my journey in this life growing with, loving and being happily in love with and here I sit a a little over 15 months later in a severe state of depression over this “marriage”. I wish i had known that you had an addiction to exes hell I should have known because I was an ex you married. I don’t understand how you say I am the one you want to be with and your mind was clear when we married when today I continue to run into your exes everywhere in the home we share. On your laptop, computer, Ipad and IPhones and now in you bag photos of your exes you carry with you everyday…not one picture of me . How can I trust you ever again knowing that you give money to your exes because after we marry you now decide they need closure. Where was my closure when we separated 7 times??? You say I am the only one, but you continue to chat , email and talk to these exes you barely talk to me and I am your wife. I want you to know how much this hurts, but Im sure you would miss the point. I’m not an ex so I do not get your attention oh but when I was an ex and not a wife how you could not get enough of me…so why did you marry me? I keep asking because your answer never fits your actions. I am not a man so I don’t understand the it’s just a picture or email explanation if you needed these women in your life in anyway why did you marry me?
Now I am in this marriage in love with a man that leaves me confused everyday. I wonder everyday if this is the day you will leave me for an ex or someone new on your IPad? You call me crazy for not trusting you and that you love only me, but can you blame me? you keep pictures emails love notes from your past not in a box or storage but in your work bag that you carry with you everyday! what am I suppose to think! Ah and the phone the dead brick phone that only works in WiFI areas your wife and children cannot get in touch with you, but your exes, friends and even bill collectors can contact you on the magicjack app phone number, but not your wife….and you say trust you.
I am not like your exes I don’t care about fashion or shoes makeup weave or the like. I am a regular woman that you married, promised to love and be faithful to… But I love you so much we have a family and even though I am married to you I am lonely, broken, sad and cannot leave you. I don’t know if there is anything that can help me trust you again you have lied to my face about things I have seen with my own eyes. You lie to me every chance you get and say it is to protect me ha! from what the truth, but nevertheless I stay foolishly in love with you, foolishly connected to you and foolishly wanting you to be my husband when you are incapable of doing so.
I can’t wait to become stronger and leave you