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I never thought that at 43, I’d seen lingerie for the last time
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I never thought that at 43, I’d seen lingerie for the last time

I can’t even walk past a lingerie section of a department store, much less a Victoria’s Secret without a massive wave of sadness. Never did I think that at 43 years old, I’d seen the last lingerie I’d ever see on my wife years ago. Hell, decades ago.

I am 43. Successful, healthy, in shape, married for 17 years. I can’t even remember the last time my wife wore any kind of lingerie, much less anything sexy. She’s made a decision that this just isn’t going to happen anymore and I resent that. It’s nothing but frumpy pajamas. Sex is boring. I’ve brought it up numerous times, she even acknowledges and agrees with me, yet nothing changes. I don’t expect her to maintain the body of a model, nor do I expect her to wear something sexy every night. But I feel like she’s completely disregarded that men are visual creatures. I feel like she’s making zero effort to acknowledge that as a man, I like to see lingerie.

Beyond frustrated and find myself all but convinced another woman would be happy to put on something sexy from time to time.

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0 5 166 17 January, 2017 Wife Bashing January 17, 2017
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5 comments

  1. ang

    Hi Although you think she is being unfair, Have you had a conversation with her regarding what she wants, how she feels, whats worrying her, i do not know how old your wife is but it maybe she is in the beginning of her change?

    Try to understand from her side rather then just yours. Every guy thinks its so easy to just slip on sexy underwear and wow away we go. to do it right you need to want to feel sexy, and prepare for it nice bath (in my case appellation I hate hair) do your hair make up everything that makes you feel good.
    Thats not just chuck it on then 15 mins later have all taken off and gee thanks for the moment.

    I would suggest firstly have that conversation get your wife to tell you why this change, without arguing ohhhh and listen to what she has to say dont zone out.
    Hopefully you will get to the bottom of what is making her feel this way.
    Then rather then walk past a lingerie shop pop in buy your wife something but not stupid but nice comfortable and sexy,

    but this must be done gradually Rome was not built in a day

    let me know how it goes

    Angie

    Reply
  2. marie2

    When your husband ogles other woman or compares you with other woman or says things about other woman they like ect… it makes the wife feel like she has to compete with other woman for their husbands attention so why bother if thats all you are to him is a sexual object. They just give up. I hope your not doing this to her. If you are stop. apologize. Apologize because if your doing it believe me she notices it and it crushes a womans sexual self asteem knowing her husband lusts other woman. Once a woman sees or knows her man is doing that she says fuck it and gives up trying to be your girl. Think about it some.

    Reply
  3. Frustrated Husband

    I’m so sick of reading that guys need to listen better. How about women listen to their husbands? It takes two and women seem to forget that.

    I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve found myself in a similar situation. My wife will wear tight clothing to go out but then hides herself when we get home and tells me that she’s fat or jiggles too much…(she’s 115 lbs – not fat at all). When we go out she carries on and is very loud and craves attention but at home it’s a different story. I’ve tried to talk to her but she doesn’t want to listen, she hears but doesn’t listen and I’m guessing that’s what you’re experiencing as well.

    Somehow you need to get her to listen to you and not just hear you.

    Reply
  4. steve

    Rather than assume that you are the real problem like other posts, I will assume that you are putting in effort, because a rational person in your situation wouldn’t complain if they weren’t doing Their part. Given that, she should be putting effort in, but isn’t. It’s hard to give a subjective answer to fix it because it depends on your wife and how important it is to you.

    I know I wouldn’t be in a relationship with boring sex I would leave a girlfriend for this reason, but marriage makes it more complicated.

    Reply

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