Confused
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Confused

I’ve been married for 16 years. At first we had sex all the time and just about anywhere. It was great. Recently my wife started acting strange. She’s gets loud when we’re out, makes sexual comments very loud for attention and a few years ago I caught her sending nude picks with her ex as well as a co-worker.

We have kids and have somewhat worked through those issues but sex has become stale. She would demand things a certain way. I have to kiss her on the back of her neck, I have to give her a lot of kisses around her neck area and I’m always on top. Now I have tears in both of my shoulders and long periods of time on them causes me great pain, but she doesn’t care. Sex is what she says, how she says and when she says. Its not enjoyable at all for me. Most of the time she rejects me or doesn’t respond so over the past year I’ve just stopped trying for the most part. Now just this weekend she picks a fight with me saying sex is mechanical and feels like its something I’m being forced to do…WTF? Really?

I told her, its what you demanded. How you want it, when you want it, and she NEVER initiates it with me or gives me attention back.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

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0 4 170 23 January, 2017 Save your marriage January 23, 2017

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4 comments

  1. Tyree

    I feel your pain, i recently got back with my ex wife in june of 2015, it will be 2 years in june of 2017 and what ive asked her for in the beginning hasnt come, despite the fact that she said she’ll change to accommodate me….( im still waiting), However. Ive seen an attempt. Now mind you, my significant other is diabetic, so our sitiation are different, unless your wife is diabetic as well. Diabetic do not have any sexual appetite unless their taking care of themselves, i.e eating and dieting well. In your case, your wife is selfless, and only thinks about her well being… counseling if that doesnt help run!!!

    Reply
    1. frustrated husband

      She is not diabetic and we both exercise daily. We tried counseling before when everything else was going on but she would come up with all sorts of lies to tell the counselor. At first she had the counselor believing I beat my kids, so my kids had to start going and after 1 meeting the counselor changed her mind on that.

      My wife stopped going because she said the counselor was on my side and it wasn’t a safe place for her to go, she even accused the counselor of telling me everything they talked about, but thats didn’t happen.

      I know she is very selfish and I’m starting to see the same behavior in my kids.

      Sex has become something I don’t even attempt with her now. I just don’t understand how someone can demand things a certain way and then say it’s mechanical.

      Running isn’t an option right now and talking to her turns into her taking it as a personal attack and then she starts yelling and swearing at me and accusing me of turning the discussion hostile.

      I’m at a complete loss.

      Reply
  2. Steve p

    If I was in your shoes, I would wonder if she was cheating. Especially if you saw a specific pivot to the new way she acts. If not, I would still consider it. I would consider this even without the pics, but liars are cheaters and once a cheater always a cheater.

    Even If that is not the case, I would agree with you, you may be at a complete loss. She sounds very irrational. Does not sound like a healthy relationship.

    Reply
    1. frustrated husband

      Update: So this weekend I decided to take matters into my owns hands and I cornered my wife in the bathroom as she was getting dressed after a shower and I gave her a good shagging. I threw her over the counter, pulled her panties down and put it to her. We went at it for an hour and a half. Since then we’ve been doing it multiple times a day every day.

      Reply

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