under appreciated
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under appreciated

So here’s my story….I met my wife 5 years and found her incredibly sexy. She was tall, young, and opinionated. Very smart. One of those types that has to figure things out and be right; and thorough.
I am more jolly, life of the party, people pleasing, engaging and charming type. I’d prefer to get along over having to be right!
So fast forward 5 years, we have a 3 year old daughter and she stays home. Last year we bought a house. Her list of needs (not wants) is monthly (hair appts, car repairs, girls night out, etc) and I am more than fine with all of it. But my angst with her…she doesn’t seem happy! or happier.
Believe me, she came from rough upbringing and out of a bad relationship. So here I sit (with my ego) thinking she hit the love lottery. I am super fun and supportive of her. But everyday we find out what sucks, what’s missing, and why she’s frustrated.
I recently read one of her friends very vulnerable blog’s about being neglected by her father who left her at a young age. no interest. her pain is real. It was beautifully written in the blog. But to know her, you would never know it. She showers people with love and encouragement. She doesn’t complain or curse God. She simply overcomes. Now my wife is the complete opposite. She is confrontational, she is emotionally charged, there is nothing calm about her and it’s getting old.
Most guys out there want to be acknowledged or simply appreciated for the endless doting deeds we do on a daily basis. Ladies, you don’t think we would rather live in veags, smoke cigars, watch football and drive our favorite cars? Of course we would..but we sacrifice for the family, to get them what they need; to protect them from a rather harsh world. All we want in return is to see the utter joy and happiness in their eyes. And sex (which is not lacking for us)
I don’t think it is unreasonable for her to allow herself to be happy. I truly believe it affects her social life. I don’t ever see girls blowing up her phone to go out. why? she’s not sweet! she’s practical. She’s solutions based, but not endearing, and lacks empathy.
So I am more than open to your feedback, criticism, suggestions, questions, and takeaways.
Cheers

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2 comments

  1. Hotchick

    Just ask her if you make her happy. Tell her that it makes you happy to see her happy. If she hasnt complained that YOU make her life unhappy (it seems she doesnt hesitate to express dissatisfaction)., then she is happy with you and her life. Instead of guessing what is going on in her head, ask and tell her what you feel. She probably thinks she is being honest about her needs. She has no clue you percieve this as misery. She is goal oriented and you are a problem solver. Not at odds. Just different. Give her a chance and hang the ego at the door. Remember why you fell in love with her. Telk her the ONE thing thay makes you happy and attracted to her, etc is her smile. Stop comparing her to this other chick. Its not fair.

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