My husband is the village idiot
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My husband is the village idiot

I am so fed up with my husband’s antics. I’ve heard women complain about their husbands behaving like adult children before, but mine takes it to a new level. To the point where I am embarrassed to introduce him to people or to involve him in social situations, and I feel that I can’t have a real conversation with him. We’ve been married for nearly two years. He’s very loyal and loving, and we’ve always had a great sex life, but my feelings about this are causing me to lose attraction to him and question whether I’ve married the right man for me.
First of all, he’s got absolutely no filter. Here’s an example from yesterday. We went to my daughter’s music recital. There are two very advanced students, and one played very well, and one not as well. when the second one finished performing, everyone applauded, and he said (not in a whisper), “That was a racket. Jane is better than Lilly.” The last part was said after the applause, and could have easily been heard by anyone sitting near us. I talked to him about it later, and he absolutely couldn’t see what the problem was with speaking his mind, and also denied that he was speaking loudly enough for anyone to hear (he was, though).
Second of all, he does crazy things in public. One day recently, we went to the mall to walk around, and I bought some bouncy balls for the kids. We were walking through a big department store, gently tossing the ball back and forth between us, and my husband picks up a trash can from the shelf to try and make the ball land in it. In the process, he knocked over some things and broke a toothbrush glass on the ground. He then walked away instead of picking it up and taking responsibility for it, while my daughter ran after him.
Another time, we were in a store, and he smeared purple lipstick all over his face, then ate shaving cream (I’m not making that up). He said he’s just trying to get us to laugh. I did because I didn’t know how else to respond to his clowning around, but for a 51 year old man to behave like that in public is ridiculous.
Another time, I took him to a work function where he made a couple of sexist and homophobic jokes, and I was so mortified I could hardly wait to get out of there. He doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s just impolite. He says, it was just a joke, and thinks he should be able to say what he likes all the time and that people (and I) shouldn’t be so sensitive about everything. I was offended by his comments, and embarrassed that I married someone who speaks like that.
Escalating my feelings about all of this, is that he’s my children’s stepfather, and is very hard on them about their “manners”, things like saying please and thank you, not being sarcastic, and using a knife and fork properly at the table. They actually have fine table manners. We could be eating french fries (which are to me a finger food), and he’ll give the kids a hard time about eating with their hands. Also, they do have a sarcastic sense of humor, but they learned it from him. Moreover, I often get compliments from my friends kids about how polite my kids are, so they do have good manners, they are just a bit more relaxed at home… I just don’t think that someone who behaves like he does has a right to criticize someone else’s manners. He has to set a good example.
How do I get him to understand that this is having a profound negative effect on our marriage? I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel as though I don’t accept him or don’t like his sense of humor, but I feel like he needs to grow up! Am I being uptight? How can I talk to him about how I feel?

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0 1 55 02 May, 2017 Husband Bashing May 2, 2017

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1 comment

  1. marie2

    LOL He sounds like a mid life crisis . Leave him a lone. Hes not hurting anyone. Roll your eyes and laugh him off. He will probably get over it in time. He is reliving his youth or bad boy imager casuse he is the big 5-0. Do some of your own quirky things and make him laugh. Be sarcastic and make a crude joke once in a while. Id say Lighten up. Hes not hurting anyone but probably just tired as all hell of the strict politically correct straight jacket hes had to live in all his life. He enforces it on your kids because he was probably raised that way but he seems sick of it himself. So have some fun with this and laugh till you pee your pants, And please, stop looking down on him.

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