Promiscuous husband
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Promiscuous husband

I’ve been married to my husband for 18 yrs. Our marriage has been rock solid and we were each other’s best friend until 3 yrs ago when I found out he’s been having sex with prostitutes and just about anyone. He travels a lot for his job so he had a lot of opportunities to fool around. When I confronted him, he rather blamed me for not being active in bed. I so wanted to leave then but I got scared. I haven’t worked for 15 yrs and I didn’t know how to start again with 2 kids. So I stayed. Bought kinky bedroom outfit and toys to try to please my husband. I thought it worked but then I found out he was still hiring prostitutes or even joining swingers party, etc. It didn’t really matter if I was performing like a well paid porn star or a virgin nun. He wanted variety. He’s promiscuous! Now my kids are leaving home to go to uni. I wanna go with them. I hate my husband so much I can no longer live with him He’s pressuring me to have sex with other people. He even wants me to work as an escort! I despise him so much.

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0 5 436 28 May, 2017 Husband Bashing May 28, 2017

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  1. Dystonic Rxn

    I think you know already your husband is a sex addict and maybe haven’t called it what it is. He will never able to satisfy his addiction.
    Not only is the cheating and betrayal breaking his oath of fidelity to you in marriage, what is worse he is putting your health at risk by potentially infecting you w a myriad of sexually transmitted diseases which could even include HIV.
    Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with but at minimum please do not have sex w him or make sure he wears protection. I would recommend see your on/gyn and get tested. Join a support group and get counseling please.

    You deserve better.

  2. marie2

    I agree with Dystonic about your husband sounds like he is caught up in a sex addiction. Not uncommon these days it seems. Especially when your husband travels and is away from home so much. He is useing sex to replace the deep intimacy needs he cannot meet because he is away from his family. Its so sad. Men have intimacy needs too but when their jobs require them to be away from their home life and wife they get lonely bored and ansy and most times they dont even realize they are emotionally bankrupt. Its like useing drugs or alchohol to numb the emptiness inside of them that a wife and family ties could fill. How sad for you both . Try to not hate him. He is deep in his addiction if he really thinks asking you to join him is even appropriate at all. You promised to love him for better or for worse well here is his worse. I would tell him no sex at all untill he gets tested and gets into marriage counseling…and a new job. Period. Good Luck . I went through something similiar with my husband traveling and told him he had to get a new job if he wanted me to stay and work on the marriage, He got a new job. I was angry and soo hurt for a few months but with him being home every night we talked and became closer than we ever were and the pain lessens and you grieve together the mess your marriage has become because of responsibility pulling you apart and you begin a new relationship based on trust intimacy and closeness. It can work. You need to set some boundaries. Divorce doesnt have to be the final say.

    1. Dystonic Rxn

      Once again Marie. You are a good woman.

      I would add in addition to the items of extreme importance Marie noted would be mandate he attend local sexaholics anonymous meetings.

      1. marie2

        I ditto that Dystonic, this is a serious life or death matter because of the risk of HIV. Men substitute sex for intimacy…its easier, less complicated and exciteing. Yet in the end he will be a ruined man with nothing to show for his life except failure and bondage. I truly believe he can overcome this if she sets boundaries in place and is tentative to his needs and feelings. But the traveling will prevent any connection to occur with his wife. Its dreadfully lonely and boreing to be disconnected from your wife and family and support friends and church family when provideing for your family means you become a loner. Such severe emptiness and men will keep plugging along like that never realizing their emptiness or have anywheres to go to talk about it or deal with it because they have a drive to provide a good life for their families. Its awful. Im praying now for restoration for your family because with God anything is possible. My husband goes to church every sunday with me now and we have a great life together. Divorce was seriously considered but we both had faults and we both wanted to find a way to heal and make things good for eachother. Love finds a way it doesnt give up when the spouse fails you. Its so painful I know but its not about you. He has a problem. If he can admit to it eventually then theres a chance. Start praying, you need divine intervention because marriage counselors will all say get a divorce but your wedding vows say for better or for worse. I am standing with you girl dureing your worst. Stand.You have everything to gain and nothing to lose and what a testimony you will have for other failing marriages when the hard times of reality hit and you have to dig deep down into your soul for strength to see healing and restoration in your spouse. Its so worth it. Life is painful. Its unavoidable. we are all so drastically flawed. So love him good. He is your man. Have boundaries but do not shame him and cast him off. Your kids need a father who is well and whole and he needs you to help him see himself and help him heal by being his true soulmate. Hes a mess .

  3. Real deal

    You need to leave him. If he’s off putting his thing in anything that will let him he’s not only putting his own health at risk he’s also putting yours at risk.

    Sure your kids need their father and they need him healthy but they also need a healthy mother.

    I can’t believe some of the comments. “Love Him Good, He is your man”?
    Sure sounds like he’s loving you and every other woman good and he doesn’t see himself as yours.

    If you’re not cool with him sleeping around then you need to get the heck outta there. Trust me there are plenty of men out there that would be faithful and good to you and your kids.


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