He makes more than me & spends on step-daughter too much
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He makes more than me & spends on step-daughter too much

Ok – it’s a long story. He’s in general a good guy. Can be loud and call names on a fairly normal basis. Can also be somewhat of a narcissist. Whatever isn’t good enough, clean enough, etc. Then there’s the step-daughter. She’s sweet, normally, but also has an eye for the brand names and fancy stuff. Case in point, wanted a $350 comforter set to take to college – he was going to purchase it! Until I stated, I am over 40 and have yet to spend that on myself! We’ve been together since she was 6, she’s now 17 and off to college in a couple weeks. He’s continually over doing Disneyland-dad type. We have 6 horses! She’s done high school rodeo for 4 years, and junior rodeos/weekend races in between. None of this was cheap. Now i’ve been told it’s “his” money and I should stay out of it. I’m at a loss. We have had separate checking accounts for about 6 months. I don’t know what he spends on her, but it’s a lot. Then he complains he’s broke and I need to make more. I don’t spend on my own daughter like that. She’s almost 21 and has a job, etc. We pay phone & car insurance for both kids. Mine pays for college (minus her first 2 years were covered by child support I held onto) – Am I being unreasonable? I feel like he needs to cut the cord a little and save our financial future together and tell her no. He’s not really spoken to me in about a week because “You hate my daughter” is his only answer. He won’t go to counseling and I’m ready to throw in the towel.

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1 comment

  1. Chris

    Wow, this sounds so close to home for me. A few differences.. We’ve only been married 2yrs and he’s truly making an effort not to spoil his kids anymore. Or I would leave! I have 2 boys, 17 and 19yo. One in college and the other a senior. They both basically pay for their own things with the exception of phones and I make sure what his kids get so does my son that is still in high school. But we still have issues, unfortunately. His daughter will be 16 so we’re looking for a car. I’m thinking like $1k like my kids cars while he’s looking at $3k+! In the beginning he planned to give her his 2014 but I said there’s no way she’s going to drive a nicer car than me! My husband is horrible with money. He worked road construction and lived with his mom on weekends and was the “weekend dad”. Whatever they wanted, they got! It’s been a rocky road with lots to come but you have to stay on the same page or it’ll never work. My husband said I hated his daughter too but I love both his kids. It’s about raising them right and agreeing on budget! You guys are a team! I fought for a joint account and basically told him this is how its going to be. He was the bread winner but he was also bad with money. Regardless, when the kids are gone and living their own lives, you will be left with each other. Communication and compromise. If he can’t meet you half way maybe you need to rethink your marriage.

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