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Please stop criticizing me. Just love me.

Dear husband,

When we were dating, you used to tell me all the time how strong I was, how much you believed in me, and how you couldn’t wait to be a part of my life. Your encouragement made me want to become the best version of myself.
But now we’ve been married for two years. All you have done since we got married is tell me everything I’m doing wrong. I’ve told you a million times that when you criticize every single thing I do, it makes me feel like you don’t trust my judgement, don’t value me, and don’t respect me. You don’t like the career I’ve chosen, even though you inspired me to go back to school and make a more secure future for us. You don’t like the kind of parent I am, even though I’ve raised two strong, smart, independent kids. You think I’m a poor housekeeper, but I’ve never seen you pick up a toilet brush. You’d rather pick a piece of fuzz out of the carpet and demand to know who left it there than to pick up a vacuum cleaner and do something about it.
From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, you question everything I do. It does not make me want to become a better person or improve my life. It makes me question the person I’ve become. you don’t make me feel good anymore. I dread the moment you walk through the door in the evenings, and I don’t enjoy sharing my hopes and dreams with you. You’ll only tell me why I shouldn’t want them or why I can’t have them.
The sad thing is, you probably aren’t going to wake up and realize that you are slowly killing our marriage. You think that it’s you’re right to state your opinion, and maybe it is. But you never state a positive opinion about anything, and I really don’t understand why you married me or why you love me at all if you have nothing positive to say about my choices or my character.
I no longer share things with you out of choice; I have to tell you things so that you can “be involved”. Well, if “being involved” is just you telling me everything that was wrong with what I did all day long, the I would rather you weren’t involved at all.
I’m so fed up. Please just love me and support me, and don’t nag me from sunup to sundown every day. Give it a rest. I really want to fall in love with you again, but I can’t. I don’t like myself when I’m with you.

Your wife

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0 1 195 30 August, 2017 Dear Husband August 30, 2017

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1 comment

  1. JD

    Two years in and it’s already this way? I would leave. Why did things change? Is he doing something bad? Taking things out on you? And…Surely your self esteem is at an incredibly low place if this is all true and how healthy is that? How healthy is it for kids to see this is how you treat Mom or how a man treats a woman or heck how anyone should treat someone they care for or even a human being? I don’t subscribe to divorce except in a few cases and emotional abuse (I’m sorry I feel you qualify) is one. If you choose to stay please have a conversation with him. Tell him how you feel and give him boundaries or an ultimatum with a time limit. You deserve better!


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