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My Toxic Jealous wife.

Hi, I’ve been married to my wife for 3 and a half years. I should of seen the warning signs but I thought it was just she loved me a lot. Out of 40 months together I’d say 10 were good. She picks fights with me and they are all over jealousy. If we are in the car and I happen to look at the woman crossing the street, or look in my rearview mirror. Or in Church she picks fights because I looked at the Pastors wife (who was singing!), where else can I look. If I don’t txt her everyday and tell her I love her, big fight. If I talk to the teacher at school she thinks I am trying to pick her up. My sons from a previous marriage come over with their girlfriends, I can’t look at the girls because I will be accused of wanting them…sick. I went on a ski trip with my older sons once and couldn’t answer my cell when she was calling (only because I was driving in a snow storm) she accused me of being at a party with my teenage boys! I am in my 50’s! After she picks a fight and I am really upset, blood pressure up etc…then she asks for forgiveness and starts groping me, trying to kiss me, grabbing me etc…I give in to her so she will get away from me. I have forgiven her at least 100 times. This time I am sticking to my guns. I am turned off by her. I don’t want to forgive her anymore, I resent her now. I still love her yes I think so…BUT…I don’t want to live with her anymore. She says she has changed and promises it won’t happen again, but I feel done. BUT I am feeling sad also. I need to stay strong. Please advise!
Cole

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0 6 43 12 January, 2018 Wife Bashing January 12, 2018

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6 comments

  1. Jess

    It’s your life. Do you have kids? If not now’s the time to set things right. 10 months of happiness for 32 months of misery doesn’t sound like a great future. Your not happy and neither is she. You can make yourself happy, she won’t be regardless. Take care of yourself.

    Reply
  2. Marie2

    This is heartbreaking sad. Your wife feels very insecure in the relationship. She gets her value and worth from your undivided attention . That’s a recipe for disaster. Her value and worth must come from within. Not from you but she’s looking to you for it. Soon as she sees a threat to that she freaks out. She knows her behavior is inappropriate so she tries to win back your full attention again using sex. Vicious cycle. She needs self esteem counseling pronto. Insist she goes because she is in deep pain and struggling from this. So sad. Don’t be angry with her. She needs to get help and heal this in herself. Don’t let her use sex on you. Tell her you love her and want her to heal. God bless

    Reply
  3. Billy bob Bastian

    Sadly it seems that your wife has significant issues from her past props even relating to her childhood. I’ve seen this afternoon both men and women and unfortunately unless the roots of the pause of this or uncovered and dealt with the behavior will continue. Unfortunately it will Take some time for this behavior to improve and Necessitates your patience and forgiveness moving forward.
    Perhaps counseling for yourself or a support group where you can exert boundaries and enforce them would be helpful so you don’t feel so powerless over your spouse’s behavior.
    Marriage is difficult. True love covers a multitude of transgressions.

    Reply
  4. Donny

    Don’t take this as a joke but all you need is to take her on a vacation……… You need to have hardcore sex with her (don’t take this as a joke)…………. Just manage to do this much and see what the results are

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  5. Brenda

    Are you sure you’re done? Perhaps she needs counseling to get to the root of her insecurities (which masks itself as jealousy). You could both go and talk to a (marriage) counselor together. I completely understand that your fed up with her behavior and her lack of trust and respect for you; I get that her apologies mean nothing anymore, for to apologize is to acknowledge what you did was wrong and then make every effort to not repeat the behavior that was grounds for an apology in the first place; just make sure leaving is what you really want to do. That said, we all deserve to be happy and if she is making you unhappy then you must do what is best for you, your sons, your health, and your peace of mind. We only come around once in this life, and it’s too short to be miserable with someone.

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