Can a marriage workshop help your marriage?
You’re married and unhappy, and you can’t or won’t get a divorce. You feel trapped in a hopeless situation, and you’re resigned to being miserable for the rest of your life. But you don’t want to be miserable for the rest of your life. While at this point you no longer have any illusions about having a perfect marriage, you’d still prefer to have a relationship with your spouse that adds some value to your life rather than a relationship that makes you hate every moment of your life that you have to spend with your spouse. Maybe you need to participate in a marriage workshop a few times per month to help reshape your thoughts and feelings about your marriage. While it’s a great idea for you and your spouse to participate in marriage workshop together, your spouse’s participation really isn’t necessary. In fact, sometimes, it’s best to participate in a marriage workshop alone in order to work out how you really feel about your spouse and about your marriage, and to figure out the ways in which you are contributing to the damage being done your marriage.
Can you make your marriage work?
You are stuck in a bad marriage, but you either don’t want to leave the marriage or you can’t leave the marriage because of children or for some other reason. Things are so bad that you’re convinced there’s no way you can make your marriage work. You hate your spouse. Your spouse hates you. You hardly talk to each other. You live in the same house but treat each other like roommates who keep their distance from each other. How can you make your marriage work when neither of you is truly interested in being bothered anymore? Things are so broken down that you don’t feel like you have a marriage to begin with. So what’s there to try to make work? What would be the point?
So many of us unhappily married people accept our misery as if it’s a terminal situation that has no possible hope of being cured. We hate our spouse. Some of us hate our spouse so much we wish for their death; yet, for one reason or another, we won’t leave the marriage. But in the meantime while we stay, what ever the reason we stay, we refuse to do anything to try to improve our relationship with our spouse.
If you’re not going to leave the marriage, why wouldn’t you want to try to make your marriage work?
If you refuse to do anything about the state of your marriage, that is tantamount to refusing to do anything about your own happiness. Even if you don’t care about your spouse’s happiness, surely you care about your own? And if there are children in the equation, you surely care about their happiness as well. That you care about your own happiness, and that you care about your children’s happiness, if there are children in the equation, should be motivation enough to make every possible effort to fix your relationship with your spouse.
At Home Marriage workshop?
If you are not keen on participating in an online marriage workshop or a marriage workshop in your area, you can always try to fix your marriage on your own through your readings and with the use of audio and video material that is geared to a purpose of helping you in your goal to make your marriage work.
There are plenty of resources available to help you create your own at home marriage workshop of sorts. In fact, you might find that there are so many resources that it’s difficult to know the right ones to choose. But keep in mind that your objective isn’t to find material that you can use to prove to yourself that you are right and your spouse is wrong, and that it’s your spouse who needs to change, and that your spouse is the reason your marriage isn’t working. You’re looking to learn ways that you yourself can actively employ in trying to make your marriage work.
Unlike the title of a very popular book, men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. But men and women are very different creatures and have very different needs in relationships. When we understand what our spouse needs and, being willing, learn how to fulfill those needs without feeling like we’re sacrificing our pride and self respect, we can begin to experience marriage as it was intended.
A marriage workshop on DVD?
The Love & Respect Experience
Your marriage is not going to save and fix itself. If you and your spouse truly want to have a closer, stronger and deeper relationship you will both need to commit to doing the daily work necessary to achieve that goal; and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ “Love and Respect Live Marriage Conference” DVD series might just be the tool you need to set you on the path to a better marriage.
Although this DVD series is Christian and bible centered, you don’t have to be a christian or in a “Christian” marriage to benefit from watching the series. Eggerich references scriptures but it is the interpretation and application of the message that is of importance.
The 5 discs in the set are from a 1999 conference at which Dr. Emerson Eggerich and his wife Sarah spoke on topics including:
- Why We [husbands and wives] Negatively React to Each Other (The Crazy Cycle)
- How a Husband Best Motivates His Wife (The Energizing Cycle Part I)
- How a Wife Best Motivates Her Husband (The Energizing Cycle Part II)
- The Ingredient That Motivates Us Beyond Our Marriage (The Rewarded Cycle)
This DVD series has been given a 5 stars out of 5 stars rating by 43 out of 44 customers who shared their thoughts on how it has helped them in their marriage.
From Amazon.com – Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love and Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages around the country. This DVD set is a recording of Emerson and Sarah presenting the Love and Respect Conference in Modesto, CA. A great resource for your personal or counseling library. The 5-disc box set has a total of 6.6 hours of dynamic teaching by Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs.
Sample Customer Reviews
Here are a handful of reviews that customers submitted via the Amazon.com website. Click on the customer name to be directed to their full review on Amazon.com
Customer Robin: After watching the first DVD as a preview to an upcoming Love and Respect conference, we ordered the full set. My husband wanted to stay up all night watching the DVDs.
Does my husband usually show any interest in this sort of thing? Not really. Why the interest now? Because Dr. Eggerichs has insight and wisdom regarding a man’s needs that is NOT expressed in today’s society. We have implemented his suggestions and they work.
I wish we had watched these on our honeymoon! They are the best investment we’ve ever made.
Customer Musiclover: After 20 years of marriage, I finally get it! No one teaches you this stuff, that men and women really are different. It can make marriage a frustrating relationship. My husband and I were amazed that someone so clearly understood what we thought and felt and articulated our differences in a way that made perfect sense. We laughed, we cried, we saw ourselves and all we had struggled with so clearly but compassionately laid out.
Men and Women Love and Respect
Some interesting points from various videos in which Dr. Emerson Eggerich talks about his Love & Respect theories:
- Men are not naturally loving. It is within a woman’s nature to love. Eggerich states “Women love to love at the level of intimacy. You have to wound a woman at the level of intimacy to get her to stop loving.”
- When men feel respected they respond more lovingly towards their wives. When men feel disrespected they respond in a way that feels unloving to their wives. When wives feel unloved they respond in a way that feels disrespectful to their husbands. Eggerich calls this the crazy cycle. The more unloving the husband acts towards the wife the more disrespecful the wife is towards the husband. The more disrespectful the wife is towards the husband the more unloving the husband is towards the wife.
- Women confront to connect – your wife’s nagging is evidence that she is trying to increase the feelings of love between you. Even though she is nagging and complaining and comes off negative and critical, she’s just trying to “resolve things” and “reconcile”.
If you’re a feminist minded woman you might have a problem with the idea of respecting your husband because he is a man who needs to be respected regardless if you think he deserves your respect or not. Women are encouraged to demand respect but you seldom hear or read anything about the importance of respecting men. Far from it men are often treated as if their only purpose is to do as their woman commands and not voice any complaint, not give any indication of having a contrary interest or desire or a thought that is not on their wife’s list of thoughts that are acceptable for them to think.
If women want men to make adjustments in their treatment of them based on accepting that women are made a certain way and because of the way they are made need to be handled with a certain care, women must be willing to grant that men are made a certain way and because of the way they are made need to be handled with a certain care. It is the same way if men want women to accept certain things as being “the way men are”, and modify their behavior according to this knowledge, men need to accept certain things as being “the way women are” and modify their behavior according to this knowledge. We can’t just go around with a dismissive attitude. It’s not about shrugging and saying “that’s just the way women are,” or “that’s just the way men are”, and shaking your head in disgust and treating your husband or wife with disdain because you don’t believe they should be the way they are. It is about understanding that because this is they way they are, these are the things they need and this is the way I must adjust in order to see that I am meeting their needs as I must being their wife or husband and the one they look to for fulfillment of those needs.